I hope things are finally severed

[hotchip]

There was a last outstanding situation with uBPDx, which has hopefully come to a close.

There was some money we were jointly responsible for, which had been donated towards a mutual aid/charitable project.

After the separation, uBPDx took $1000 of the money. He didn't mention he'd spent it until I said I would crosscheck records with the donor. He said he would pay it back, but would not say when or what he had spent it on. This was, to say the least, dodgy. We had previously discussed using some of the money for the needs of people involved in the mutual aid project (eg, health or legal expenses), as either a gift or a loan depending on the circumstances. This was emphatically not the same as simply taking cash without saying anything and refusing to explain when asked.

When questioned about this, uBPDx said at different times and to different people:

- that I knew what the money had been spent on, and had approved it
- that I had no right to ask what the money had been spent on or to 'control' him by demanding to know
- that the money had been spent on visa expenses, which would be refunded to him as part of the visa process
- that he was working to save up to pay it back.

These narratives are obviously not consistent or reconcilable.

Anyway, uBPDx has just paid back the money. I don't know what he actually spent it on and nor do I need to. I know enough to know that this is not a person to be entrusted with responsibility involving money or anything else.

I also think this is consistent with my perception of uBPDx as someone who creates chaos and engages in dishonesty and manipulation, not from malice, but out of desperation and dysregulation.

This doesn't make him any less harmful and I have no desire to be in is orbit. I do not want this chaos in my life and I hope it is over.