Optimistic update

[alleyesonme]

Hello. Some of you may remember me from several years back, when I was frequently posting during our custody dispute. That fortunately ended up with a good outcome for me and our child.

I haven't been here in a long time, but this website was such a valuable resource for me during the hardest period of my life, and so many of the people who were so helpful to me then seem to still be posting here. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

I started dating again once we were divorced. Being reintroduced to the dating scene after years of being off the market, and now adding a child into the mix, is challenging. Some of the people I've met have been great, and some have been the total opposite.

There were two women in particular that I started dating and, when they started treating me poorly, I made a clean and immediate break from them. That's why I'm posting - because just about all of us on here have been in a horrible and abusive relationship at one point or another and likely stayed in it way too long. But a sign of growth is when you're faced with a similar situation and make a better decision the next time, and I'm very proud of myself that I have. I don't put up with anything in my dating life anymore.

[Under The Bridge]

But a sign of growth is when you're faced with a similar situation and make a better decision the next time, and I'm very proud of myself that I have. I don't put up with anything in my dating life anymore.

Good for you!

It's a big step forward when we finally realise that, though not perfect, we weren't the cause of all the chaos. It really is very freeing and empowering, almost like being washed clean. Took me 4 years to come to this conclusion and I'm just glad I didn't spend 20, 30+ years in something which was toxic and gradually wearing me down.

Since that relationship I've met only one other who definitely had BPD and other issues and I got out ASAP once I saw the patterns developing. You learn to value yourself and the fact you won't compromise 'just to have someone' rather than be alone.  Keep yourself busy doing all the things you couldn't do while in your BPD relationship because you were so enmeshed by it and it ruled your life so completely.

At the end of the day you are now your own person and anything is possible. Be the best and happiest version of yourself you can be and be ready.. because I find good things often happen when we least expect it, especially when it comes to finding relationships