The movie "Obsession"

[Me88]

Has anyone seen this, and also saw their ex as the main character? Multiple times I just shook my head. That's my ex...she's acted that way. Said those things. The tone. Great movie but scary for our reasons.

[Under The Bridge]

Has anyone seen this, and also saw their ex as the main character? Multiple times I just shook my head. That's my ex...she's acted that way. Said those things. The tone. Great movie but scary for our reasons.

Definitely something there we can all identify with to one extent or another Wonder if the writer had some experience with BPD relationships or researched it?

I used to use the Alien movie as a reference to my exBPD; the words of the android Ash when talking about the alien are very appropriate;

'Its structural perfection is matched only by it's hostility ..a survivor.. unclouded by conscience, remorse or delusions of morality'

'I can't lie to you about your chances; you have my sympathy'

Plus whenever I saw the 'crew expendable' message I instantly thought 'partner expendable'

[Me88]

Well, apparently I didn't just land on some landmark idea. Googling the movie's relation to BPD is everywhere haha the mood swings, anger, fear of abandonment even people with BPD were saying they could relate. I was telling my parents I went through stuff like that and they were just blown away haha

[PeteWitsend]

Has anyone seen this, and also saw their ex as the main character? Multiple times I just shook my head. That's my ex...she's acted that way. Said those things. The tone. Great movie but scary for our reasons.

I just looked up the plot online.  In a way, showing the way "complete love" or whatever he wishes for, actually manifests itself in extreme social dysfunction and brutal violence like that is brilliant.  But yeah, I don't need to watch it.  Sounds terrifying!

[PeteWitsend]

...
Plus whenever I saw the 'crew expendable' message I instantly thought 'partner expendable'

In my relationship, I noticed a bizarre focus on death.  I haven't seen anyone else mention anything like that here, although I've read about threats of suicide, and violence (the latter, more from male BPDers).  I'm curious if anyone else had conversations about death with their BPD partners? 

It really creeped me out, even though I wasn't afraid of BPDxw physically, or intimidated by her in that regard. 

She would occasionally bring up - seemingly out of nowhere each time - her concern that she would die before me, and make me promise I wouldn't see anyone else after she died.  I remember thinking "Where TF did THAT come from?"  Besides, I'm almost a half-dozen years older than her, and men don't live as long as women to begin with, right? 

She once shared a "joke" video with me, where a wife tells a husband she wants a divorce, and he smiles and immediately signs over all his property to her.  Then as he's walking away, she says she's still upset to think that another woman will get him, because he's such a wonderful man, and he says something like "oh, of course," pulls out a gun, and shoots himself in the head.  She thought this was hilarious, but I was thinking "I get the humor, but man, is that bleak," and the fact that she thought it was so funny was unnerving. 

It was just a joke, true, but seemed revealing to me.  I suppose it hammered home that I was just a means to an end for her.

Thinking long term, the words "Do NOT grow old with her" repeated in my head.  and I also couldn't imagine taking care of my elderly parents someday, with her disapproving glare, and "just let them die" kinda attitude. 

[Under The Bridge]

her concern that she would die before me, and make me promise I wouldn't see anyone else after she died.

I can understand a non-BPD saying that, meant as an expression of their love and obviously not said with serious intent.. but when a BPD says it, it takes on a truly darker aspect because they really mean it.

Pretty scary that even after they had died, they still want the control over their partner. Imagine being haunted by a vengeful BPD spirit who could appear whenever they liked.  Another possible movie script there..

My exBPD never discussed anything like this but then she actually never discussed much of anything. She is still the one g/f I knew the least about and who asked the least about me.. maybe that was part of the attraction for me; the simplicity of seeing her.

[Me88]

I can understand a non-BPD saying that, meant as an expression of their love and obviously not said with serious intent.. but when a BPD says it, it takes on a truly darker aspect because they really mean it.

Pretty scary that even after they had died, they still want the control over their partner. Imagine being haunted by a vengeful BPD spirit who could appear whenever they liked.  Another possible movie script there..

My exBPD never discussed anything like this but then she actually never discussed much of anything. She is still the one g/f I knew the least about and who asked the least about me.. maybe that was part of the attraction for me; the simplicity of seeing her.

I'd watch that movie but horror is my favorite genre. Sadly it was my exes too, I miss going with her to revery new movie and both being excited about it. Oh well, at least I took that part of my life back for me.

My ex actually asked every single thing about me. And I told her as much as I could or remembered. Her on the other hand, I really didn't know much about her other than she had a bad childhood. She would just be vague and switch it up on me and ask more about me. I thought it was interest and 'love'. Probably just a way to control me.

[PeteWitsend]

... but when a BPD says it, it takes on a truly darker aspect because they really mean it.

Pretty scary that even after they had died, they still want the control over their partner. ...

right.  like there is a horror movie type script there: a normal marriage ends at death ("til death do you part") but these wackjobs want some sort of eternal control over you?  Why?  What the heck are they thinking?

When she would bring it up, I would demur and say "If I die before you, I'd WANT you to find someone else and be happy" and try to change the subject. 

I suppose all these things were mentally going in my "reasons to divorce sooner than later" file. 

[Pook075]

Ooh, I watched the previews- no thank you.  That's not my kind of movie anymore and it might hit too close to home.

However, from the preview, I hate that he cast a wish to make all that happen.  Why?  He got what he wished for and it was entirely his own fault.  Call it a curse or whatever, but he's not the victim in my book.  It would have been a better plotline if she was just bananas from the very start but was super kind to him.

[Me88]

Ooh, I watched the previews- no thank you.  That's not my kind of movie anymore and it might hit too close to home.

However, from the preview, I hate that he cast a wish to make all that happen.  Why?  He got what he wished for and it was entirely his own fault.  Call it a curse or whatever, but he's not the victim in my book.  It would have been a better plotline if she was just bananas from the very start but was super kind to him.

yeah it was pretty crazy. the weird faces she'd make. Screaming at him like a banshee. Some of the lines she had. Mini PTSD flashback for me He was definitely selfish in that movie. He isn't a victim. Made a silly choice that came to fruition then ran with it in the face of horrible events. Super good movie for anyone into supernatural horror! It would trigger all of us given our pasts.

[PeteWitsend]

...
However, from the preview, I hate that he cast a wish to make all that happen.  Why?  ...

"Be careful what you wish for" is a longtime trope in fables and literature.  I saw they based this movie partially off the "Monkey's Paw" Halloween episode of the Simpson's, which was itself based on an earlier story that had been adapted many times.  There are also precedents in Greek mythology.  Someone gets their wish, but in the process, some awful calamity occurs as part of it.  Like the frogs who summon King Stork.

I'm curious if he had any experience with BPD though... it's an interesting twist.