Suddenly blocked during dysregulation

[SometimesI]

I'll try to keep this as accurate and concise as I can. But a lot happened in a few weeks. I will pose the question now. I will provide context afterwards.

Context:

My girlfriend and I dated another woman together, who turned out to have BPD. We adore her and want to continue being with her. But understand that may not be possible. The most important thing to us right now is that she knows that we don't hate her.

Question:

After a fairly sudden and abrupt removal from her life, where she told us via chat that she had a panic attack after last seeing us, and not wanting to experience it ever again, she blocked us and told us she doesn’t want to hear from us ever again.

This felt like a violent self-amputation. And it left us in shambles. We didn’t know her friends yet, and have no grip on how she’s doing now.

We know she didn't mean to do hurt us. She tripped, she fell, and she accidentally took us down with her.

There was no major conflict before this, just a small disagreement that we noticed she was incredibly sensitive to. We asked for reassurance that everything is fine, and she couldn’t give it.

Several days before that date, she posted on Instagram that she feels that being rejected is better than the fear of rejection itself. Because then the pain is gone.

We do not know what to do.

On the one hand she asked us not to contact her. On the other hand, it was in the midst of an intense dysregulation. She’s currently gone on a business trip that she left on on Monday. She blocked us a week before already.

Is this it? Is it really just a matter of hoping she at one point unblocks us, and if she doesn’t, tough luck? We don’t want her to think that we hate her now. That’s the most important thing to us. Whether we'll have her back in our lives or not.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.