Been a long time... but back again...

[FullMetal]

So, I've been dealing with my dBPD wife, and once it was confirmed that she knew about it, and was actually finally able to admit to herself she needed help.  (long story short, we went to marriage counselling, the lady we saw, was writing a phd thesis on chronic PTSD and links to NPD and BPD, and how CPTSD can be misdiagnosed as NPD or BPD, when the trauma needs to be addressed as well, rather than just the BPD... and as such had a lot of insight into a lot of things.  and our marriage counselling became a trauma counselling sessions for her. which really helped as well.)  She was also put on a bunch of medications, which worked great for the last 10 years, and she's become better, and more self-reliant.  There has been some slippage here or there... but this is about the latest incident,  we were packing up to come back home from a holiday, while packing, I was suddenly painted black for some reason.  I was taken by surprise.  And I admit I didn't react the way I should have. All I did was ask if she spilled water as I stepped into a puddle on the tile and slipped a bit, and was gonna just ask for a towel from the bathroom to wipe it up... and before I could even ask for the towel... Suddenly I was a complete jerk for even DARING to suggest she spilled water, it obviously wasn't spilled water, it had to be something else because she didn't spill water...  I haven't had a reaction like that in years.  I've had a few close calls, but never the gaslighting over something so minor, it went from "must be condensation, or a leak or whatever it is it's NOT water cause she only has water on her nightstand that she didn't spill it" ... I've learned to ignore a lot of the minor gaslighting she's told me the last 10 years, as most of it is unimportant things like, "yes I put my dish in the dishwasher" (as it sits on the coffee table). but this was a water spill, and I remembered her knocking her water bottle off the night stand the night before... so I was thinking it was probably that and no big deal.  but the anger and the hatred she exuded simply by me asking about it...

Guess it's just a reminder... even if everything is going smoothly for years... that switch can flip in an instant.  and don't be like me and get lulled into a sense of normalcy...  Just things were in such a routine, and I had everything under control.  but I never ever knew spilled water was one of her triggerss.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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