My Partner of 7 years left me over one weekend - what can I do?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,

This is all rather new to me so please forgive any faux pas. On Sunday, 13th September, my seven year relationship came to an end over 48 hours. Saturday morning started absolutely fine, yet, after stating that she was going to read for a while (we are long-distance at the moment), I never heard back from her. She quite literally left the call on until it cut out on it's own, and I didn't hear from her afterward, which is completely uncharacteristic of her (she will usually message me about 3 times a day if not responded to).

Concerned for her safety, and knowing that she might be struggling regarding a high stress environment at work whilst tapering off Setraline, I contacted her parents who eventually responded with a curt "thanks for your concern, she's fine, thanks." Mere moments later I received two messages from my significant other, ten minutes apart, telling me that our seven year relationship was over, and that she would check for communications on Sunday "if I felt like sending anything."

This has completely blindsided me. I knew we were stressed from long work hours that ate up most of the day, and that we weren't our most enthusiastic over the last four months, but we had weathered previous BPD flareups in COVID amidst similar circumstances without any breakup. We were planning to see each other for a long period of time over Christmas, and I was just about saving up enough money to start beginning application processes. Instead, she has completely shut down and ghosted me, giving me next Sunday to talk to her again, which she said I shouldn't feel pressured into.

I don't want to lose this relationship, the idea of losing it crushes me to my very core. They're the only person in my life who has left me feeling whole, and I truly love them, even now, despite this. I wish I knew what they thought I had done, or I wish I had done something terrible myself so I could be marred in self-pity and rage rather than being hopeless, knowing I haven't done anything wrong apart from be tired.

I feel stupid for not taking in every moment as I should've, I don't understand how this has happened so fast, and perhaps it's my bad for not educating myself enough, or being so tired from work I missed a key piece of the puzzle entirely. We argued a week or two prior about her venting her feelings regularly, which upset her, but I thought this was resolved, and we had made up. Could this really have been the trigger?

What is the best course of action in my position? If this was impulsive, what are my best steps to helping her and bringing her back? How do I navigate the week waiting for Sunday? In short - what do I do!?

[LeslieSass]

Hello,

This is all rather new to me so please forgive any faux pas. On Sunday, 13th September, my seven year relationship came to an end over 48 hours. Saturday morning started absolutely fine, yet, after stating that she was going to read for a while (we are long-distance at the moment), I never heard back from her. She quite literally left the call on until it cut out on it's own, and I didn't hear from her afterward, which is completely uncharacteristic of her (she will usually message me about 3 times a day if not responded to).

Concerned for her safety, and knowing that she might be struggling regarding a high stress environment at work whilst tapering off Setraline, I contacted her parents who eventually responded with a curt "thanks for your concern, she's fine, thanks." Mere moments later I received two messages from my significant other, ten minutes apart, telling me that our seven year relationship was over, and that she would check for communications on Sunday "if I felt like sending anything."

This has completely blindsided me. I knew we were stressed from long work hours that ate up most of the day, and that we weren't our most enthusiastic over the last four months, but we had weathered previous BPD flareups in COVID amidst similar circumstances without any breakup. We were planning to see each other for a long period of time over Christmas, and I was just about saving up enough money to start beginning application processes. Instead, she has completely shut down and ghosted me, giving me next Sunday to talk to her again, which she said I shouldn't feel pressured into.

I don't want to lose this relationship, the idea of losing it crushes me to my very core. They're the only person in my life who has left me feeling whole, and I truly love them, even now, despite this. I wish I knew what they thought I had done, or I wish I had done something terrible myself so I could be marred in self-pity and rage rather than being hopeless, knowing I haven't done anything wrong apart from be tired.

I feel stupid for not taking in every moment as I should've, I don't understand how this has happened so fast, and perhaps it's my bad for not educating myself enough, or being so tired from work I missed a key piece of the puzzle entirely. We argued a week or two prior about her venting her feelings regularly, which upset her, but I thought this was resolved, and we had made up. Could this really have been the trigger?

What is the best course of action in my position? If this was impulsive, what are my best steps to helping her and bringing her back? How do I navigate the week waiting for Sunday? In short - what do I do!?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.