Right now I am burnt out and right now just ignoring her behavior. I do worry about her moods on our son. She also is constantly thinking he is sick and leads him on that he is. If you don’t mind me asking what was your breaking point for divorce and do you think your wife had any impact on your daughter? When she was hospitalized, I was able to talk to her psychiatrist, because she signed a release. I want to call and ask him what her diagnosis is out of concern for her recent spiraling and safety of our son, but I am afraid to if that will be a catalyst if he has to report to her that I reached out. Any input is appreciated.
Hi Shameus. Are you in the United States? As far as I know, either you're listed on her chart as being able to receive medical updates for her or you're not. If you are, then they can release information to you. However, just because she was treated doesn't mean she received a formal diagnosis. Hospitals and psych facilities treat symptoms regardless of what's charted and try to find a mixture of medication and treatment that would benefit the patient the most.
In my case, my wife left for another man...although she never admitted it to anyone but me and our daughter. She told everyone else that I was abusive and she was fleeing for her safety. I tried to reconcile for almost a year but eventually faced the obvious- it was better to let her go.
My wife did have some impacts on our daughter later in life, but I don't think that's the reason my kid has BPD. I would guess that's genetics more than anything. She was a good mom though and did whatever she could for our two kids.
Have you spoken to your wife directly about a diagnosis (it's probably better not to)? In the original post, it sounds like you're getting a handle on things and learning to enforce boundaries when things aren't okay. Any progress there?
