Help

[Trony]

My husband (undiagnosed but very likely BPD) is in a different state visiting his mom. He went there to help her move. On Monday he realized that what he had spent a lot of time doing is actually not helpful. He could have been spending time better. He tried to reach out to me about it but got caught up in something else he was annoyed at me about and got too upset to even share. We have been fighting since. He insists I am never there for him and I don’t care. He was supposed to come home on Wednesday and he didn’t. He wanted me to prove somehow I care in a new way but rejected all my attempts. He kept saying I have done nothing. On Friday he almost calmed down but then I was distracted with our kid and missed a chat from him and he perceived that as rejection. Now he is full of hate, he keeps blocking me and then saying I am ghosting him. He has mentioned suicide. It is Sunday and I am the villain because I am not treating this with enough urgency and spending time with our kids. I just don’t know what to do. I also feel like he is treating me bad but I am torn between being understanding of his pain and feeling totally rejected and mistreated.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.