Physically ill from the stress

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I left my stbx uBPDh over 6 months ago, and still every time he tries to contact me and send me messages through FB or text, it makes me physically ill. I don't contact him, but he occasionally sends me messages, lately to tell me he wants to move back here to be closer to our D6.

When will this feeling of dread subside? We haven't started divorce proceedings yet and I just can't stand the thought of it. I don't want him anywhere near me. Any suggestions?

[catalina]

I left my stbx uBPDh over 6 months ago, and still every time he tries to contact me and send me messages through FB or text, it makes me physically ill. I don't contact him, but he occasionally sends me messages, lately to tell me he wants to move back here to be closer to our D6.

When will this feeling of dread subside? We haven't started divorce proceedings yet and I just can't stand the thought of it. I don't want him anywhere near me. Any suggestions?

[Justadude]

I was so stressed in my relationship with anxiety that I had panic attacks that lasted a very long time until I got treatment.

[suz124w]

catalina,

I had palpitations and felt really anxious towards the end of the relationship and at the split.

It does pass, but it just takes a wee bit time to calm down and get back on an even keel. Try doing some relaxing things that you enjoy, do something to keep your mind active too - I like art and cinema so I went to a couple of exhibitions and films with friends. Do some physical exercise (walking and swimming as well as yoga helped me)  Try to eat healthily and get plenty of sleep.  Time will pass and you will get more detached as it does.  Speak to your support network and read these boards.  You will see that you are not alone!

[GlennT]

This is a normal reaction after being abused by them. I had it too. Time and doing things to make you happy are great healers. Block him on all levels, texts, and phones. Have your lawyer send him a letter stating that he/she will receive all messages from him to you, from now on, due to your illness. If he still bothers you, go to your local courthouse and file an RO. It is free.

[Rose Tiger]

I found it really helpful to embrace the stressed feelings.  Versus fight them, I'd kind of step back and observe my physical reactions.  Hello tensed up stomache, oh there you are shaky hands, my old friends.    It's like when we fight our reactions they get more powerful.  Acceptance and working through the feelings, takes some of the power away. 

[myself]

When I got that too-anxious feeling, that's when I'd go for a walk, helping to release it. Same as when I'd feel sick hearing the phone ring, knowing it was her again trying to get a response out of me. It got a response alright: I'd have to throw up sometimes. Not that that's her fault, it was just how my body was processing the stress and tension, the fears and PTSD stuff. As I'd be throwing up, I'd tell myself it was another way to get those toxins out, to move on, showing me how 'sick' I was becoming being so wrapped up in everything that was negative. I don't go through that any more, but for awhile it was part of my detaching. Sorry you're going through it, too. As others have said, it will pass. Your mind and body will adapt, and the more you help yourself the better that will be. It's been said a million times, but taking care of ourselves does work wonders.

[ricky rick]

I too have issues and working out seems to help alot. i think the biggest stress factor for me anyway is that I know I will hear from her again. The question is when. So im always stressed about when that time will be. I cant believe how much control she has on me to a point. It drives me nuts. And yes, Physical issues can start, thats for sure. I know by the time I broke if off with my ex, I was in the stages of having a nervous break down.

[catalina]

I'm no stranger to anxiety and panic attacks. They've come and gone throughout my adult life, but I had gotten rid of all of that for a while. Until he started in on his constant drinking and rages. I've had some health issues the last few years too so I struggle with exercise due to fatigue and joint pain. I should try yoga again... .  I know that helps.

[trouble11]

I'm 49 years old and didn't know what panic attacks were before my uxBPDbf.  Now the anxiety is constant.  I'm considering removing text messaging from my cell phone plan entirely.  I've tried changing the tone several times, but it doesn't seem to help. How crazy is it I'm considering this, as opposed to blocking him, because I don't want him to know he's been blocked? 

[Changed4safety]

I actually started on anti-anxiety meds 2 years into a 4.5 year relationship.  Specifically to be able to handle the relationship.  :/