Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 16, 2024, 06:19:02 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Noticed a difference in his reaction lately good or no?  (Read 599 times)
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« on: January 31, 2013, 02:44:19 PM »

The other day we were talking and he started on me with the criticizing.  This time it was about my kids.

He says he doesnt mean it in a bad way but my kids are always sick and that it must be something in the house making them sick.

He doesnt have any children and doesnt really understand that children in school get sick more often than adults.  My kids have been sick about 3 times since summer.  Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying.  He then asked me ":)ont you think so?"  I said No... .  He stopped, said nothing else and changed the subject.

First time this has happened.  Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed.

Sound like a positive step to you?
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

patientandclear
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 2785



« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2013, 04:11:53 PM »

Completely!  On both of your parts!
Logged
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2013, 06:05:00 PM »

Thank you patient. Smiling (click to insert in post)

We are both trying really hard.
Logged
Grey Kitty
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182



« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2013, 06:20:02 PM »

First time this has happened.  Normally it ends with me Jading, him going off, me crying and going to bed.

Sound like a positive step to you?

Woo Hoo!

That sure does sound positive to me! Especially when you describe what had become "normal!"

Excerpt
Anyway, he went on for a while about it and I just validated that I heard what he was saying.

Keep up the good work!
Logged
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2013, 06:38:04 AM »

Thank you Grey Kitty,

Its really nice to get a small taste of reward for all the work that is being put into something.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
Logged
Rockylove
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 827



« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2013, 09:05:49 AM »

 Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
Logged
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2013, 09:21:34 AM »

  Rockylove, thank you
Logged
coworkerfriend
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 383



« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2013, 09:23:36 AM »

That is great - the work you are putting into your relationship is paying off. 

Thanks for the inspiration.  Small changes can make a difference.
Logged
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2013, 09:29:53 AM »

Thank you coworkerfriend,

The very small changes really made me see how I was blaming him for my own issues.  I am learning to process my own emotional stuff.  That and whine about it here. Smiling (click to insert in post)  If they mirror you, then it cant hurt to be happy, can it?
Logged
coworkerfriend
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 383



« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2013, 09:38:21 AM »

   I was doing the same thing - blaming him for how I was feeling about things and my own insecuritites. 

My motto of the day is "it is what it is" but you have the power to turn it into not so bad.
Logged
laelle
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737


« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2013, 09:42:00 AM »

Great motto!
Logged
123Phoebe
Staying and Undecided
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2070



« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2013, 06:55:32 PM »

Hi laelle,

Yes, this was great!  Simple and to the point on both your parts (being truthful), agreeing to disagree essentially, with no further drama or upset Smiling (click to insert in post)

And I totally understand how the little things can mean a lot. 

Learning how and when to use those two little letters can be very helpful--  N  O

Sounds like a very positive step to me Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!