Is This A Myth?

[Willingtolearn]

I recall reading or hearing somewhere  that BPD can develop in a person, if as a small child their mother was suffering from deep depression. Is this true?  Or would it take more than a depressed parent to cause the condition that is BPD?

I know of people who when they where children lived with a depressed mother, but never developed BPD.

[Surnia]

This kind of statements are never such direct and simple. Humans and life are much more complex.

Genetics, our brain, our childhood, culture... .    all this plays its role.

[turtle]

This kind of statements are never such direct and simple. Humans and life are much more complex.

Genetics, our brain, our childhood, culture... .    all this plays its role.

This is so true.  Just look at two siblings raised in the same household (difficult or not.)  One grows up to be a minister and the other grows up to be a serial killer.

So complicated.

turtle

[tailspin]

I wouldn't say it's a myth but it isn't necessarily a fact either.

Genetics does play a role. If the parent (usually the mother) has a borderline personality disorder it will most likely play out in her failure to successfully attach to her infant.  If this infant is also genetically predisposed they will grow up with a skewed sense of love and attachment and will associate love with pain and attachment with abandonment just like their mother. 

Another child not predisposed may escape the illness completely but will suffer from the mother's treatment regardless due to their environment.  I know some children who are not genetically predisposed get "fleas" from their parent and often experience the same characteristics of BPD without actually having the illness.  Others do not get these fleas and struggle to understand what's wrong with their parent.  The dynamics are complex; the illness is brutal and takes no prisoners.

tailspin

[Dawning]

Yes, it seems to be that a depressed mother can have a negative effect on the mental health of the baby. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/11/111110142352.htm

I questioned that myself as I fell in major depression after my ex udBPD husband left me for someone else a few days after my youngest child was born. At the time, 27 years ago, I had no clue that I suffered depression ( and PTSD). Let alone that I knew about borderline PD.

It took me years to heal and all the children have suffered by having all of a sudden a mother who was completely different. My youngest is ud BPD and looking back, he had the signs from very early on. Although I think they need to have a gene to be vulnerable to develop it. Sad but true.I often feel guilty that my depression has triggered it, but also know that it just happened and I did not have a choice to be depressed or not. It's very, very sad.

[momtara]

There are a lot of depressed moms out there in the world.  Mine sure was.  She is also bipolar and thinks the gov't is out to get her.  She hallucinates all the time.  yet, I am perfectly fine.  (Except that I attracted a BPD husband. Which may mean I am codependent or something.)

[Dawning]

Yes, it is very likely to become codependent with a disordered parent. And more so, in your childhood crazy is the norm. For me that was the case with a NPD father. I became far more accepting of abusive behaviour, thought all fathers were like that. When I played with friends as a kid, I disappeared as soon as the father entered the house.