rough past 2 days

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

its been a rough 2 days because i think i've been realizing some things... .  

i think i'm starting to realize, i wasn't even a boyfriend at any point. i was always just a rebound guy.

i remember how with her exes whom she would complain about to me, and always be working to get over when with me, though she would sporadically contact them or try to get back with them, she would put in so much more effort.

appearance-wise, or even trying to look sexy or putting together plans, buying them gifts or even accepting blame in her own way. even with the new guy she's with, she gung ho about helping him with his life, going for more haircuts and trying to live healthier and going to expensive restaurants. we never did that. 90% of the time all i got were staying at home and her in sweatpants, which i didn't mind, especially cause she would say "i get to be myself when i'm around you"... .  we would really only go to local restaurants and never did any fun activities... .  

i dont know. just a rough couple days. 

[fakename]

its been a rough 2 days because i think i've been realizing some things... .  

i think i'm starting to realize, i wasn't even a boyfriend at any point. i was always just a rebound guy.

i remember how with her exes whom she would complain about to me, and always be working to get over when with me, though she would sporadically contact them or try to get back with them, she would put in so much more effort.

appearance-wise, or even trying to look sexy or putting together plans, buying them gifts or even accepting blame in her own way. even with the new guy she's with, she gung ho about helping him with his life, going for more haircuts and trying to live healthier and going to expensive restaurants. we never did that. 90% of the time all i got were staying at home and her in sweatpants, which i didn't mind, especially cause she would say "i get to be myself when i'm around you"... .  we would really only go to local restaurants and never did any fun activities... .  

i dont know. just a rough couple days. 

[fakename]

she would also always say she was too tired to do anything or stay out or up late... .  

now all of a sudden she has the energy for this other guy?

[trevjim]

I know how you feel, 'why is she treating him better than me?' right?

truth is no two relationships are the same. also she is probably just in the honeymoon and will soon turn to how she was with you, with him

[fakename]

thanks for writing trevjim.

yup, i guess thats exactly how i feel.

and yeah i understand its the honeymoon phase, i guess her happiness and her moving on so quickly just hurts me.

i also am thinking illogically about things that i shouldnt. like, why did she send me an email the day after meeting this new guy. (i broke up with her feb 4th, NC since, she emailed me feb 21st saying "chantix.com will help you quit smoking" - i didn't reply. and now she's in a full on r/s with this guy)

i guess it also hurts that why did she drag me along for so much after i clearly stated its wrong to use people and to go elsewhere if she needs a rebound guy, and then she always puts in more effort with others.  its annoying

i dont know. just hurting after i was beginning to do better

[fakename]

also pisses me off that the kid is 27. she's turning 35 in june. what happened to all the talk about having a kid and having a family and house that she's had with everyone she's been with... .  she's gonna get that from a 27 year old?

ugh

[fakename]

i guess it also hurts thinking that, we couldnt go 2 days without her having some sort of emotional urgency or her yelling at me.  and i just feel like she isnt doing that the with the new guy.

[ScotisGone74]

sheesh, my BPD SO other went from me 37 to the new one is now 21.  Two months after we were done she is Married to him, she is now pregnant by him at four months.  I found out they were engaged a month after we were not seeing each other, she is now 26.  This kid has no clue what kind of hurting he in for, I thank my lucky stars each day I didn't get her pregnant.  But yeah, it hurts, when we were first together what she loved was that I was older and knew alot, in the end what she said was I was too old and I already had a kid haha geez.  Someone on here always has a way worse story

[HarmKrakow]

I know how you feel, 'why is she treating him better than me?' right?

truth is no two relationships are the same. also she is probably just in the honeymoon and will soon turn to how she was with you, with him

Truth be told, that, why is she treating him better than me is not the thing which completely breaks me (maybe it will in time :P) but that is the disorder. Mentally brainwire malfunction, scared to be alone, find another white knight and completely cling on the other person.