I was breathing a bit, after very bad days, until my BPD mother...

[Billa]

after very heavy days of despair and depression, I was feeling a little better, thinking that it wasn't my fault if things went so bad and that my ex BPDBF NC, so hard and painful for me, it's not really about me, but it's only a defensive skill, so that it will last till the moment he'll need it to protect himself. Well, I knew this state wasn't go to last for ever, but I was happy for being able to smile for a couple of days. Then, I had lunch with my BPD mother. Who, as she perceived I was feeling better, had to be of help in her very personal way.

That's our dialogue: Mother: "today I've seen the News of XYZ National Channel. There was XXX reading the News. He was smiling a lot. The guy was very elegant, wearing a very beautiful shirt, an up to date model, I think... .  "

And my smile fade away... .  

Me: "I've already told I don't want to hear his name and the names of everything that reminds me of him, why are you doing this?"

Mother: "I wonder how can you be so fragile: I've suffered a lot all my life long, so now I'm not going to suffer anymore".

How can she be so cruel and insensitive, Gee! Yes, I know how... .  and why.