My Ex said something very telling tonight. Give me some input

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I have been through it all with my ex bf with BPD. The rages... .  The recycling.

The last couple of weeks he has spent the night at my house several times. He would wear his work clothes to my house. He would wear one of my cheap t shirts to bed, then home the next day. He wore 2 of my shirts home. He started to wear a 3rd shirt home tonight and I said " you already have 2 of my shirts. Don't wear another one home.

He then said the following, but they're my trophies!

Those were his exact words. What the hell does that mean?

[Rocknut]

I have been through it all with my ex bf with BPD. The rages... .  The recycling.

The last couple of weeks he has spent the night at my house several times. He would wear his work clothes to my house. He would wear one of my cheap t shirts to bed, then home the next day. He wore 2 of my shirts home. He started to wear a 3rd shirt home tonight and I said " you already have 2 of my shirts. Don't wear another one home.

He then said the following, but they're my trophies!

Those were his exact words. What the hell does that mean?

[Clearmind]

Seeing you are in contact, ask him what it means.

[sad but wiser]

I think he is saying he crossed your boundaries and you didn't stop him.  He wins.

[Rocknut]

I did ask clear mind. He shook his head and said "nothing."

What type of boundaries?

[Clearmind]

Ok so a healthy relationship is where you are respected and if you ask for clarification you get a clear answer.

He is controlling you so you two choices (1) listen to what he telling you - which is not much - case in point (2) exercise your own boundaries and protect your own personal values by not engaging in this relationship.

This is not about him. It's about you and learning not to put up with anything less than respect.

You are on the Leaving Board - are you wanting to detach and how do you go about that when he is staying over.

I suggest you maybe post on the Undecided Board where you can work with the communication tools.

[Rocknut]

Thanks clearmind!