Bloomer,
I had to settle on one as well, I bought (and have read twice):
The Essential Family Guide To Borderline Personality Disorder;
new tools and techniques to stop walking on eggshells, by Randi Kreger – 2008
She’s the “coauthor of the best-selling ‘Stop Walking on Eggshells.’ So, only having read ‘one,’ I can’t give more advice than to look for something current. Brain research continues to advance and it appears that more and more BPD traits are being identified and traced to the brain than the 'early life traumas' others have used in an attempt to decipher its cause.
I found this book, not only a great overview, but providing the depth necessary to help understand the condition, treat it (to the extent possible), and live/ interact with a partner with BPD. I also like its neutral, if hopeful tone … never over the top, but obviously written for those who live and love partners and relatives with BPD. It identifies and clarifies the crazy-making behaviors we’ve all experienced (I’ve highlighted many passages), and she actually uses posts from this site
…my two cents… and well worth the $14.68 it took to get it here