This is one of the very few times I would ever suggest this... . but perhaps you SHOULD find someone for a quick 'tumble in the hay'? Let me explain:
Graphic sexual dreams are not uncommon. While I was with my last BPDex, I sometimes had them about the previous BPDex (two in a row - how's that for unlucky?). In the four months since my last break-up, not one about the first ex, but a couple about the last. I don't over-analyse them. I know what the issue is. I'm lonely, I'm a sexual being, and she was the last person I connected to on that level. I, too, often feel down the next day after such a dream.
I think it's really important to stay single after a BPD relationship, for a while, to give us time to heal and deal with our own issues. But it's also important to look after ourselves. Perhaps connecting with someone else, even if it's just for one night, will help you process those complicated sexual memories/attachments that are causing the dreams.
If nothing else, why would you want your libido to 'slumber'? There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex, nor wanting it. It's a basic mammalian drive, and a primary one too! This is the 21st century, and very few people (none whose opinions are worth worrying over, in my opinion) would think badly of anyone for having a purely physical encounter with someone.
My MOTHER has suggested, several times, that I go out and pick up a girl. I'm amazed! But also touched and happy. I would never have expected my mother to be so modern in her thinking (she's in her mid-60s).
Whatever you decide is right for you, I hope you'll feel better soon. A year on is enough time, in my opinion, for you to start thinking about the future, not dwelling on the past. I don't say that as criticism; it's meant as support. Isn't it time you had some fun?
