Tell me what you think of this..hope it plays.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Ok I pasted a video my BPDex showed me on our very first date... I consider this to be huge  , what do you think?  Nearly 6 years I have been battling the gift and money issues with him... he always used what he bought me against me... I never asked for much. But when he did get me something for me... it was always thrown in my face... (look what I spent on you), what have you bought me?  It came to a point where I didn't want anything because I didn't want to feel guilty that he would spend anything on me... Looking back I think this has been an underlying issue for him way before I ever came along... and it just spilled over in to our r/s

What would you think if you saw this on your first date? Would you of ran? Noticed the  ?

www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=GyPinO-1EQ8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGyPinO-1EQ8

Hope this works.

[Notthesame64]

Ok I pasted a video my BPDex showed me on our very first date... I consider this to be huge  , what do you think?  Nearly 6 years I have been battling the gift and money issues with him... he always used what he bought me against me... I never asked for much. But when he did get me something for me... it was always thrown in my face... (look what I spent on you), what have you bought me?  It came to a point where I didn't want anything because I didn't want to feel guilty that he would spend anything on me... Looking back I think this has been an underlying issue for him way before I ever came along... and it just spilled over in to our r/s

What would you think if you saw this on your first date? Would you of ran? Noticed the  ?

www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=GyPinO-1EQ8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGyPinO-1EQ8

Hope this works.

[Perfidy]

Clearly he was trying to send you a message. Not so sure what that message was. A few maybes. Maybe he was used in the past. Maybe he is poor. Maybe he's a skinflint. Maybe he's BPD and not even he knows?

[Notthesame64]

Lol perfidy... but I do look at it as a good indication that something was off... whatever the terminology.

Thank you for your take.

[Perfidy]

I get the context of that video. The message there could be taken two different ways. Love me for me. Or. Women only love guys if they have money. Shallow side would be the latter.

[Perfidy]

But yes... A red flag to be sure. Almost a control issue?

[Perfidy]

I would not have ran but I would have probably not gone on the second date. Knowing what I know now I may have moved towards the door. Real slow. No sudden moves. That is how you survive with a predator. If you know him well enough and have seen all of the ugly in a pwBPD then you know what I am talking about. It is insidious. If they aren't willing to get professional help you cannot interact with them on any level of sanity. Period.

[Notthesame64]

It's almost like I am over hypersensitive to signs now... back then I looked at it as here's a man that views woman only love you when you have  money... and in his own way was showing me rit off the bat this was one of his issues.    however my take of it was... I'm not like that... i can love you for free... so the compassionate side was won over by the wounded bird syndrome.

If some guy showed me that to me today on our first date... I'd be what are you trying to say by showing me that? I would get to the meat of it and then decide my next move... I'm curious George now... no more surprise!