Financial entitlement

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Every person I have known who had a BPDx has said that she was a complete gold digger. Mine certainly was.  Wondering if you had similar experiences.  So many posts talk about how the non's bank accounts were depleted and credit card bills sky high.  Mine would come up with every excuse not to get a job. Went from one business idea to the next without ever completing one.  And felt completely entitled saying something like "that's what needs to be done to keep a woman like me" implying she is so worthy (when she was totally worthless).

[hopealways]

Every person I have known who had a BPDx has said that she was a complete gold digger. Mine certainly was.  Wondering if you had similar experiences.  So many posts talk about how the non's bank accounts were depleted and credit card bills sky high.  Mine would come up with every excuse not to get a job. Went from one business idea to the next without ever completing one.  And felt completely entitled saying something like "that's what needs to be done to keep a woman like me" implying she is so worthy (when she was totally worthless).

[Turkish]

Every person I have known who had a BPDx has said that she was a complete gold digger. Mine certainly was.  Wondering if you had similar experiences.  So many posts talk about how the non's bank accounts were depleted and credit card bills sky high.  Mine would come up with every excuse not to get a job. Went from one business idea to the next without ever completing one.  And felt completely entitled saying something like "that's what needs to be done to keep a woman like me" implying she is so worthy (when she was totally worthless).

Mine wasn't that bad (a co-worker had to basically divorce his wife before they ended up in the streets due to her secret credit cards and the like... .he was sure she was one). A few months ago, I bought her/us a $37K SUV. Two weeks later, "I don't love you and can't do this anymore." Two weeks after that, I found out about the affair. The arguments ensued. I said how could she do this when I was providing for her. She denied that and said I was exaggerating, and challenged me to ask how I was taking care of her. Two months later, she is still in my home, where I haven't made her pay a dime (she does pay for the kids' childcare, half of which I will take over when she actually moves out). She has been buying the kids' clothes, which isn't much at this point since they are small. I asked her to pick up diapers the other day, but she took that from the joint account, which at this point is all money I put in. We/I got her a new car two weeks ago (where I put some additional money down, taking about a $12K loss, not including equity, on the SUV we traded in) that is much cheaper to run. This month's payment being forwarded, so she has only made 1 car payment. Me offering a few thousand to her (even though I owe her squat, legally) to move out, a verbal agreement (which I will put in writing and have her sign). She still not able to find a place to live because it's too expensive. Hello! I'm Reality, please to meet you *SMACK*

[ts919]

My uBPDw definitely has a sense of entitlement and has extremely poor money management skills (as in no money management skills).  There have been several times where I feel as if I was just a "good catch" because I make decent money; I've definitely been manipulated into feeling like she really "needed" this new car, and "needed" a nicer home, "needed to live in a better neighborhood", etc. 

It's funny - her lifestyle definitely changed once we were married... .she has more right now than she's ever had in her entire life.  I, on the other hand, have just accumulated more debt and stress.  Wish I would've realized this and caught onto the game 2 years ago... .

Games over now though... she should be getting served papers this week while I'm out of town for work!

[hopealways]

Turkish sure sounds like a gold digger to me! Stems from irresponsibility which IS a BPD trait that I have seen.

The car thing totally resonates with me. I lease her dream car for her and after each fight she would drop the car off and the keys. I eventually found out she did the same thing to her ex after he asked how she was going to pay for the car he leased her.  She threw the keys in his face and walked away... .he of course came begging to her with flowers, and promised to make all the payments. POINT BEING that the BPD is VERY experienced at how to manipulate men. I figured the reason she would keep giving the car back is because she wanted me to pay off the car and put it in her name. Hell no would I do that.


Also, I paid for literally everything for her and she always denied that I spent money on her? WOW.  Then when I would tell her that I spend $X000 per month on her, she would start crying and say "Is that how much I'm worth!"

It's a NO WIN SITUATION WITH THE BPD - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES MY FRIENDS!

[happylogist]

Certainly not a gold digger... .My dBPD friend likes spending money buying expensive staff, but always complains about not having enough money. My ex was amazing - he managed to spend money without really buying anything and again complain about not having anything. Both are high-functioning.

[Hazelrah]

I don't know that 'gold-digger' would be the term I used to describe my BPDw... .I'd call it more a sense of entitlement that I eventually learned to go along with as a result of immense F.O.G.  

When I met her, she'd recently come back from a stint teaching in South Asia, and she was employed as a school director when we began dating.  Yet she quickly lost that job a few months into the relationship, and bounced around from job to job despite have a college degree and long history of teaching.  She took a series of low-paying service jobs that she continually claimed she was unfit to handle emotionally--she would either quit or get fired in rather short order.  Eventually it got to the point where I stopped pressing for her to work... .I made a pretty good living, though I quickly found out it wasn't always enough to support two people as comfortably as I'd hoped.  I thought I was being a caring, supportive husband in taking care of her, but in hindsight, I simply enabled her victim mentality to the hilt.  I'm still paying off the debt from our wedding, and hoping to get my name off a car I bought for her shortly before she split.

Funny thing is she supposedly secured a pretty decent job within a short time of leaving and moving in with her loser ex-boyfriend.  I'm curious as to how long that will last.        

[HarmKrakow]

Same, mine wasn't a golddigger either. But was quite the spender, but never so bad that true money issues arises.

[Turkish]

Turkish sure sounds like a gold digger to me! Stems from irresponsibility which IS a BPD trait that I have seen.

It's a NO WIN SITUATION WITH THE BPD - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES MY FRIENDS!

Agree with your last quote. Now I feel bad for writing that. I kept her old car going for so long... .but she totally let me research and buy the new one, even though I almost begged her for months to take over that responsibility (and I saved us thousands of dollars at the dealership haggling, and a bit also with her new car where they tried to low ball us 20% with the trade in; still lost on it). She never _begged_ me for a new car. I just wanted it for our grown family. BUT, her already having started a quasi-affair, and still having us (ME) go out and buying it, wth? And if it was going to end, she should have known darn well that she couldn't afford it afterwards. I really think this was one big cheating tantrum she pulled to get my attention in a childlike way. Guess what? Loving adults don't do that to each other. "Friends" which she said she still wants to be... .uh, NOPE. Maybe something resembling that a few years because I will be forced to have contact with her due to co-parenting. It backfired on you, little girl. Now get thee gone!

But maybe you are right... .at least she isn't trying to get more money out of me at this point. Still bugs me that she is going out spending money on dinner and stuff, money she doesn't have. My bohemian, depressive mother had us live over the edge of poverty (real poverty, like no heat, electricity, running water; not iPhones and cable tv) taught me to live frugally. She was horrible with money (which made me the opposite!), but I will reach back into my memory and stop shopping fancy like my BPDex had. No more fancy dinners either. Oh well... .

[Clearmind]

   we ignored

My ex was very entitled - and yes this is part of the disorder. Borderlines do not intentionally do what they do. They operate on a level similar to that of a 3 year old - "I want" was a theme I heard a lot from my ex.

Now that being said. I had to really look at why I was so bent on still rescuing a man who was felt so entitled to my money, my possessions, wanted me to buy him things and yet was still not happy and content. This was certainly not the basis of a healthy relationship.

I guess what your topic does show above all else is that we do ignore red flags and maybe need to focus on what is healthy relating.

We can all now chalk this up to experience and not only find out why we thought it was OK, why we ignored the red flags, why we may still harbor anger towards our partner after the fact.

Confusion is a given however anger is a super emotion which stems from shame - we often feel intense shame coming out of these relationships because we believe we were taken for a ride "How dare they". I guess the point being is that no one can take you for a ride without your (my/our) permission. Entitlement probably falls under the "respect" aspect of the quote below. Mutual respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Maybe have a think about other red flags you may have ignored for the sake of keeping the peace... . this is important because delving a little deeper than "is she a gold digger" will help you not choosing Borderline #2 (I have had 3 BPD relationships - took me a while to learn the lessons)... . 

Some of the characteristics of a healthy relationship are:

Respect - listening to one another, valuing each other's opinions, and listening in a non-judgmental manner. Respect also involves attempting to understand and affirm the other's emotions.

Trust and support - supporting each other's goals in life, and respecting each other's right to his/her own feelings, opinions, friends, activities and interest. It is valuing one's partner as an individual.

Honesty and accountability - communicating openly and truthfully, admitting mistakes or being wrong, acknowledging past use of violence, and accepting responsibility for one's self.

Shared responsibility - making family/relationship decisions together, mutually agreeing on a distribution of work which is fair to both partners. If parents, the couple shares parental responsibilities and acts as positive, non-violent role models for the children.

Economic partnership - in marriage or cohabitation, making financial decisions together, and making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements.

Negotiation and fairness - being willing to compromise, accepting change, and seeking mutually satisfying solutions to conflict.

Non-threatening behavior - talking and acting in a way that promotes both partners' feelings of safety in the relationship. Both should feel comfortable and safe in expressing him/herself and in engaging in activities.

More information here... . 

All the best to you... . 

[Bulgakov]

Mine does not like asking for money. However, sometimes I notice that I am low on money and I will then begin realizing I had purchased little things (takeout food, movie rentals) to sooth difficult situations where I didn't have time to handle things personally. These really start to add up. I am starting to notice little things about her spending. Nothing monumental, but I find evidence of her spending when she doesn't need to as well as not taking care of debts she needs to be taking care of. For instance, she works at a grocery store but rarely does any shopping there. So she ends up going with the quick and easy satisfaction of buying a meal at a time. I know, we all do this from time to time. But I'm thinking little things like this, as well as me not paying enough attention, are leading to this kind of indirect gold digging... .if that makes sense.

[Ironmanrises]

Mine wasnt a gold digger... .

But did feel entitled.

And that was fully expressed... .

In devaluation... .

In round 2.

She had told me... .

In devaluation... .

"Ironmanfalls... .I dont ever ask you... .

To buy me anything... .

But... .

You need to buy me these 2 expensive perfumes i like... ."

Now... .

I had just purchased for her... .

An expensive Michael Kors watch just a week before... .

She expressed that demand on me.

So... .

A week later... .

I buy her those 2 perfumes.

She barely said "thank you... ."... .

That entitlement... .

Extended even further... .

A few weeks later... .

She is in Miami... .

On a vacation... .

And buys herself... .

2 Movado watches for herself.(very expensive)

Mind you... .

I had just gotten her... .

That expensive MK watch just a few weeks before.

She posts the pic of that purchase... .

On her facebook/instagram.

It felt... .

Like she slapped me right in my face.

Like my present... .

Was no longer good enough.

Who acts in such a cold and ungrateful way... .?

Who does that to someone... .?

My birthday... .

Was only a few weeks after that.

She didnt even get me a card.

But had enough money to buy herself... .

Those 2 watches.

That was her sense of entitlement.

It hurts remembering that.

Cut me right through the core.

[Afool]

Well lets see. Mine was a stripper, and very possibly a part-time escort. Now, I was unemployed and she insisted that I move in with her. I wasn't like living fat or anything, but she was the provider. When I found a job is when I became LESS important to her. Go figure that... .

Anyway, I think when they have that confident BPD mask on, they can definitely be one. But, when they let off the mask and you meet the depressed chaotic devil-temptress, money isn't really an issue. They really want happiness... .

I'm actually thankful I'm free for once and not just pretending I am.

[DragoN]

clearmind

Red Flag Red Flag Red Flag we ignored

My ex was very entitled - and yes this is part of the disorder. Borderlines do not intentionally do what they do. They operate on a level similar to that of a 3 year old - "I want" was a theme I heard a lot from my ex.

Now that being said. I had to really look at why I was so bent on still rescuing a man who was felt so entitled to my money, my possessions, wanted me to buy him things and yet was still not happy and content. This was certainly not the basis of a healthy relationship.

I guess what your topic does show above all else is that we do ignore red flags and maybe need to focus on what is healthy relating.

We can all now chalk this up to experience and not only find out why we thought it was OK, why we ignored the red flags, why we may still harbor anger towards our partner after the fact.

Confusion is a given however anger is a super emotion which stems from shame - we often feel intense shame coming out of these relationships because we believe we were taken for a ride "How dare they". I guess the point being is that no one can take you for a ride without your (my/our) permission. Entitlement probably falls under the "respect" aspect of the quote below. Mutual respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.



Maybe have a think about other red flags you may have ignored for the sake of keeping the peace... .  this is important because delving a little deeper than "is she a gold digger" will help you not choosing Borderline #2 (I have had 3 BPD relationships - took me a while to learn the lessons)... . 

The sense of entitlement is nothing to understand.

Anger, revulsion, disgust, irritation, shame, but not shame directed internally at self worth. More, the shame in not having tossed in the towel a lot sooner and not bothering with the benefit of the doubt when the Facts were staring me in the face, Empathy and compassion that was wasted on someone who remains completely undeserving in the time we were together, but for the wounds that came before we met.

[snappafcw]

Well my ex girlfriend was really entitled. She had an Ebay addiction and was constantly wasting and spending her money on herself. I enabled this and allowed it to happen I always said to her you work harder for your money so I don't mind... .So I paid for everything in the relationship her petrol (in her defence she mainly had to drive to see me as i didnt have a car at the time), all the dinners, the dates, the gifts... .everything. I was not rich actually times were tough but she never went out in our relationship I have her everything I thought a woman could want... .

Anyway

As she was devaluing and leaving me she would say many hurtful things... .How can we have a family on your money... .You dont make enough money or work hard enough you need another job... .Oh you make ok money but you spend it on stupid things ( i spend it on her!) She was just really cruel and ungreatful for anything i did for her and to this day the situation really effects my self worth.

[snappafcw]

Another thing that really hurt was the break up seemed normal from past push pull ect... .Anyway my ex was in debt to her sister so I transferred her sine money. No acknowledgement whatsoever. No thank you not even a "we are not together anymore I feel bad for taking this" just silence

[Aussie0zborn]

Mine has always had an incredible sense of entitlement. She is high functioning and good with my money but a big spender too. $30,000 owing on credit cards and last month she borrowed money from her 19yo daughter to pay the mortgage.

Being separated we have commenced settlement. My T laughed when I said, "I want everything I put in - not a cent more and not a cent less". I asked her why she was laughing and she said, "Because she wants everything!" I looked at her kinda funny.

Well, yesterday we got her offer. She wants everything (three houses) and I take nothing. Nothing at all. Not even my business suits, my bicycle, etc that I left behind when I fled the house in the middle of the night after she and the new guy threatedned me. She also wants my registered business name which we used for our holiday rental properties and will seek a court order if I dont agree to any of this.

This is the woman that was going to lose her house when I met her, had I not bought into it. This is the thanks we get for raising their children, keeing a roof over their heads, spending a a fortune on them to give them a quality of life they never had before, covering for them when they bash and bruise their children, put up with their nonsense, etc etc.

I could make the same offer to her but I will stick to being a gentleman. Every cent I put in and not a cent more. Their sense of entitlement is mind boggling.

[snappafcw]

I think I have it bad and then someone else has it so much worse... .

Hang in there AussieOzborn you sound like a really stand up guy I hope it all works out for you.

[Aussie0zborn]

Thank you Snappa. Much appreciated.

[Mcgddss]

can't believe I am the first woman posting on here - my stbxBPDh has a huge sense of entitlement - not working and not keeping the house up.

Since we separated 4 months ago he has not paid a single bill - though we are sharing our house moving in and out while the kids (s5 and d8) stay in full time.

He has also kept the cable box locked up in his room while I pay that bill too.

He tells the kids they just shouldn't do afterschool activities and told them that he couldn't afford the day care anymore - hasn't paid a bill in 4 months, gets 1600/month in disability and 407/kid/month.

So my vent is he has been financially entitled for 2 years - once I took my stand he got upset and filed for divorce - but is now complaining about how much that costs.

I just want him out of my life and out of the kids life because a BPD parent is not a parent.

[Jbt857]

Yeah, my BPDexh had a small fortune off me, but I'd say more motivated from entitlement than pure gold digging.

He contributed to bills proprtianate to his salary, everything else I paid for. He couldn't afford a car, somehow is ended up paying for him to be insured on mine and letting him drive it for 18 months (until I paid for a van for him).

He wanted to see the world. I paid for a number of luxury holidays. Everything for the house I bought. He only ever wanted the best, of course. If we ate out (at his choice of top restaurants), I picked up the bill. Ditto the designer clothes he likes to wear.

When he couldn't make his money last or was out of work (frequently), he 'borrowed' and never paid it back.

I'd say he cost me at least £70,000 over the course of our marriage. Probably more.

The last 2 months he was here but I'd told him we were through, he lived here and ate here and didn't pay a penny. Left me to cover the cost of a mortgage on a 4 bed house in an area he wanted to live in on my own.

And guess who paid for the divorce?

Yet, were you to ask him, I've left him with nothing!

Interestingly, one of my friends told me recently that she nicknamed him 'Lord Jim' while we were together... .

[maxen]

 we ignored

My ex was very entitled - and yes this is part of the disorder. Borderlines do not intentionally do what they do. They operate on a level similar to that of a 3 year old - "I want" was a theme I heard a lot from my ex.

Now that being said. I had to really look at why I was so bent on still rescuing a man who was felt so entitled to my money, my possessions, wanted me to buy him things and yet was still not happy and content. This was certainly not the basis of a healthy relationship.

I guess what your topic does show above all else is that we do ignore red flags and maybe need to focus on what is healthy relating.

We can all now chalk this up to experience and not only find out why we thought it was OK, why we ignored the red flags, why we may still harbor anger towards our partner after the fact.

Confusion is a given however anger is a super emotion which stems from shame - we often feel intense shame coming out of these relationships because we believe we were taken for a ride "How dare they". I guess the point being is that no one can take you for a ride without your (my/our) permission. Entitlement probably falls under the "respect" aspect of the quote below. Mutual respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Maybe have a think about other red flags you may have ignored for the sake of keeping the peace... . this is important because delving a little deeper than "is she a gold digger" will help you not choosing Borderline #2 (I have had 3 BPD relationships - took me a while to learn the lessons)... . 

thanks for that Clearmind. i dated a narcissist years ago, and wound up in the same patterns with my BPD wife. sometimes it's hard to live with the thought of that.

mine also was not a gold-digger but was very entitled. another bill for something i didn't know about? here, pay it. i refused, which meant i didn't "cherish" her, and that was the official reason she left me.

and as mcgddss mentioned, not being a housemate. this was the first problem, and one i couldn't really get over. she wouldn't lift a finger to clean up after herself (or her dog), or do anything proactive to keep the house up. i believe that making a mess (physical or situational) and having others take care of it is her way of feeling attended to. if i had accommodated to that, would we still be together? there goes the self-blaming.

[Jbt857]

 we ignored

My ex was very entitled - and yes this is part of the disorder. Borderlines do not intentionally do what they do. They operate on a level similar to that of a 3 year old - "I want" was a theme I heard a lot from my ex.

Now that being said. I had to really look at why I was so bent on still rescuing a man who was felt so entitled to my money, my possessions, wanted me to buy him things and yet was still not happy and content. This was certainly not the basis of a healthy relationship.

I guess what your topic does show above all else is that we do ignore red flags and maybe need to focus on what is healthy relating.

We can all now chalk this up to experience and not only find out why we thought it was OK, why we ignored the red flags, why we may still harbor anger towards our partner after the fact.

Confusion is a given however anger is a super emotion which stems from shame - we often feel intense shame coming out of these relationships because we believe we were taken for a ride "How dare they". I guess the point being is that no one can take you for a ride without your (my/our) permission. Entitlement probably falls under the "respect" aspect of the quote below. Mutual respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Maybe have a think about other red flags you may have ignored for the sake of keeping the peace... . this is important because delving a little deeper than "is she a gold digger" will help you not choosing Borderline #2 (I have had 3 BPD relationships - took me a while to learn the lessons)... . 

thanks for that Clearmind. i dated a narcissist years ago, and wound up in the same patterns with my BPD wife. sometimes it's hard to live with the thought of that.

mine also was not a gold-digger but was very entitled. another bill for something i didn't know about? here, pay it. i refused, which meant i didn't "cherish" her, and that was the official reason she left me.

and as mcgddss mentioned, not being a housemate. this was the first problem, and one i couldn't really get over. she wouldn't lift a finger to clean up after herself (or her dog), or do anything proactive to keep the house up. i believe that making a mess (physical or situational) and having others take care of it is her way of feeling attended to. if i had accommodated to that, would we still be together? there goes the self-blaming.

My ex seemed astounded I was able to keep on top of the housework without him. He asked: ':)on't you miss everything that I did around here?"

He'd make the tea/coffee and empty the bins.

Amazing I could survive and my home is cleaner, tidier and more organised than it ever was without him. And less to do, too, now I don't have his laundry and dishes and mess to clear up. 

[Blade99d]

My ex is a queen, and boy oh boy does she feel entitled to take take take.  The only reward I ever got from her was wild crazy sex, but I realize that the crazy sex was just as much for her.  I took her to NFL, MLB, and NHL games, which always consisted of dinner, boozing, gambling, etc.  we would go to dinner 2-3 times a week minimum, and never once did she reach for the tab and say, let me get this... .the kicker though, was opening day for our MLB team... .I spent $500 on tix, 500 at casino and another couple hundred on misc items.  I told her i needed to stop at the atm, and she said "i can loan you $100".  I thought, wow how generous after i just spent over 1,000 bucks today - she can loan me some 100.  Wow was that fog thick. 

[ramble on]

My soon to be ex BPDw was not what I would call a classic gold digger. She is a saver to the max. She hated to spend money on anything. She fretted over every little thing involving money. But she had a huge sense of entitlement. She had no problem with me spending money on things like our cars, the house, furniture, taxes etc.  She also had no problems working 28 hours a week and still  had the nerve to blame me for her not being able to buy this and that.

I still remember a few years back, I had a simple cash flow issue when our house taxes were due. I told her that she would need to pay that installment. The first one I had ever asked her to pay in many years. The look of disgust, unspoken disappointment on her face, the heavy sigh as she wrote out a cheque, the things she was going to have to give up because of the unexpected expense I had saddled her with told me volumes. As we have gone through the separation agreement exercise her sense of entitlement has just become more and more clear. And its not pretty either. Things are signed now and I have three more weeks with her in what was our house that I assumed with a generous buyout.

[maxen]

My ex seemed astounded I was able to keep on top of the housework without him. He asked: ':)on't you miss everything that I did around here?"

He'd make the tea/coffee and empty the bins.

right, mine would say "you don't see all i do around here." example? "i roll the trash bin out." that's all she could come up with. she wanted credit for that. i got the sense from this attitude early on that i didn't have a partner, and that soured things.

[slimmiller]

Mine was not a gold digger per se but several of her family are. Her mother and step dad lived in my home rent free for almost four years.    They were saving money to built a house of their own (Next door to mine btw... .)

She felt and does feel entitled though. Since I met her 12.5 years ago, I have bailed her out everythime she did something stupid with money. Paying for trips etc.  But come March of 2014 the alimony runs out and for the first time in her life her reckless spending will be HER responsibility and depended on HER income. Course maybe her 23yo rich Japanese exchange student bf thats a career student will step in and bail her out

For the last few years before she started her affairs I felt like merely a Penis and a Paycheck. Then I became the Paycheck only and full time fully responsible parent while she played and traveled and basically became teenager again.

On the bright side my NAV (Including equity in my home and my Investments and retirement combined have doubled)

[suffering_parent]

Mine was a big time spender.   Second marriage and she wanted someone with more money.   Could never get her to live on a budget.   She spent all the money on junk though.   She would go into dollar stores and drop a couple hundred on disposable items.   She filled our garage with 2nd hand junk.   We had to pay someone to come take it all away.   She spent like 60k on that garage of full of crap.

The worst thing was I could never buy anything for myself.   "One" pair of shoes in 11 years and I got screamed at for months about it.

Now of course that we are separated she is trying to start a career in financial planning.   She is also trying to sue me for financial abuse.

[Aussie0zborn]

Sue you for financial abuse?

How does that work?

Which country are you in?

[gettingoverit]

My ex is a queen, and boy oh boy does she feel entitled to take take take.  The only reward I ever got from her was wild crazy sex, but I realize that the crazy sex was just as much for her.  I took her to NFL, MLB, and NHL games, which always consisted of dinner, boozing, gambling, etc.  we would go to dinner 2-3 times a week minimum, and never once did she reach for the tab and say, let me get this... .the kicker though, was opening day for our MLB team... .I spent $500 on tix, 500 at casino and another couple hundred on misc items.  I told her i needed to stop at the atm, and she said "i can loan you $100".  I thought, wow how generous after i just spent over 1,000 bucks today - she can loan me some 100.  Wow was that fog thick. 

Lol... ya I totally understand that one. My ex owed me about $7000 and to her credit she did pay me back... .three years later! So one day she gives me $1000 cash, which I take and put towards my debt (that I had because of her I might add). The next day she actually makes a snark comment that I didn't even thank her for giving me back my money. I was so floored I couldn't believe she actually had the gall to say that to me. Ahhh... .ok? I wanted to say "Thank you for paying me back money you owed for renos to the basement so that YOUR son (whom you treat like crap) could have a decent bedroom to live in (because you were prepared to move him into an unfinished basement because you couldn't have your golden child daughter sleep right next door to your throw away son) Also thank you for paying me back THREE years late even though you had promised to help me pay for the renos as soon as the bills came due. Instead your 3 $400 Coach purses and $300 cowboy boots and your $1200 trip to Mexico (which you lied about saying your friend was paying for) was more of a priority for you then knowing that your partner had to work 7days a week to make up for the payments that YOU were supposed to make... .Ya... .THANK YOU SO MUCH!The entitlement my ex felt was through the roof. She was the most self centered selfish teenage child I have ever met. When I held her accountable for anything she would just start sneaking in purchases and hiding them. It was unreal. I can't believe I put up with that ___ for so long.

[samthewiss]

My wife (soon to be ex) made $700.00 a week and got $1500.00 a month child support for her four kids. I gave her $2000.00 a week but we were always short.

She refused to do a budget. Claimed i was trying to control her. She said hurtful things like:

"You cannot afford me"

"I should have stayed with my ex, at least i had money"

It is Sad. she had the ability to raise me up and tear me down.