Closer or more more pull and push, cannot decide

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Yesterday, I signed my legal divorce and today i sign the Jewish divorce.

Last night, i went to BPD wifes house (last day i can call her that). I went to pick up the remainder of my stuff.

As I was about to leave, she asked that we sit down and talk.

She sat next to me. She told me that she married me for love and not money, she told me that she was faithful, she told me that she takes responsibility for her part in the demise of the relationship. She told me I was an incredible person and I should not sell myself short.

At this point she was on my lap. I initiated the hugging. She hugged me back.

I told her about my issues as a "lonely child". I told her i believe she was an "abused child", she agreed with my assessment. It was worm and yummy.

I wished this moment would last forever.

Several things she said raised red flags.

For example.

1. She said "your entire family is toxic, you need to get away from them"

2. She commented that my brown shirt looked terrible, and she offered to go clothing shopping with me if i would like. (we are getting divorced - clothing shopping together?)

3. She suggested that we go out for dinner next week. (?)

4. I told her that I am in therapy and i suggested that she do the same. She said that she is doing a lot better, and has found a sense of calm - in essence healed already.

5. She said the breaking point for her, What enabled her to let go of me was my letter to her (two months ago) where i told her she needs to come back to therapy or we will not make it. She said that this letter was the opinion of our therapist and wrong.

A big part of me wants to still hold on to her. But her yummy hugs comes at a very steep price.

This is the best closer i could probably get.

Time to heal.

[samthewiss]

Yesterday, I signed my legal divorce and today i sign the Jewish divorce.

Last night, i went to BPD wifes house (last day i can call her that). I went to pick up the remainder of my stuff.

As I was about to leave, she asked that we sit down and talk.

She sat next to me. She told me that she married me for love and not money, she told me that she was faithful, she told me that she takes responsibility for her part in the demise of the relationship. She told me I was an incredible person and I should not sell myself short.

At this point she was on my lap. I initiated the hugging. She hugged me back.

I told her about my issues as a "lonely child". I told her i believe she was an "abused child", she agreed with my assessment. It was worm and yummy.

I wished this moment would last forever.

Several things she said raised red flags.

For example.

1. She said "your entire family is toxic, you need to get away from them"

2. She commented that my brown shirt looked terrible, and she offered to go clothing shopping with me if i would like. (we are getting divorced - clothing shopping together?)

3. She suggested that we go out for dinner next week. (?)

4. I told her that I am in therapy and i suggested that she do the same. She said that she is doing a lot better, and has found a sense of calm - in essence healed already.

5. She said the breaking point for her, What enabled her to let go of me was my letter to her (two months ago) where i told her she needs to come back to therapy or we will not make it. She said that this letter was the opinion of our therapist and wrong.

A big part of me wants to still hold on to her. But her yummy hugs comes at a very steep price.

This is the best closer i could probably get.

Time to heal.

[Waifed]

Run... .she is trying to reset her hooks in you. Mine did the same thing even after I left her. She wants to make sure you are available if she needs you. Also, who brought up faithfulness?  Hang in there and don't look back. She is obviously in denial if she is BPD.