Good things to say

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I was just wondering if anyone's BPD ex had any good things to say about one of their ex's?  Mine spoke volume's about how bad each one was (now the list includes me!).

Anyway I on the other hand do not speak poorly on any of my ex's (except my BPDex).  Even my ex wife who cheated and lied I don't have the feelings for that my ex did about all of hers.  Anyway just curious.

[Tincup]

I was just wondering if anyone's BPD ex had any good things to say about one of their ex's?  Mine spoke volume's about how bad each one was (now the list includes me!).

Anyway I on the other hand do not speak poorly on any of my ex's (except my BPDex).  Even my ex wife who cheated and lied I don't have the feelings for that my ex did about all of hers.  Anyway just curious.

[Waifed]

I was just wondering if anyone's BPD ex had any good things to say about one of their ex's?  Mine spoke volume's about how bad each one was (now the list includes me!).

Anyway I on the other hand do not speak poorly on any of my ex's (except my BPDex).  Even my ex wife who cheated and lied I don't have the feelings for that my ex did about all of hers.  Anyway just curious.

My ex never spoke poorly about her exes.  Actually she spoke differently about all of them but never poorly.  One she dated twice and they fought a lot.  Another she didn't like very much and was not very good in bed but she got an abortion during that relationship.  Her ex previous to me always got praise.  I would ask her why she was with me if he was so great.    When I caught her cheating and I threw every curse word in the book at her she cried uncontrollably and she raged outward the only time in 3 years. She commented how bad she felt for leaving her ex!  I said "what about me?" and she said "It is just different with you".  What a piece of work. You couldn't write a soap opera better than this... .

[Ironmanrises]

Mine spoke well of her kids father(deceased, this was a guy who hit her and cheated on her and did not take care of his kids at all), in devaluation phase of round 2 in relationship. As she was cutting me down, she was painting this image of him to me that "he would have been a good father" and that he was more "outgoing and social then me." In friendship with her and in idealization phase in both rounds of relationship, she spoke very bad of him. She would tell me that i was a million times nicer then him, and that i was taking care of her 2 sons(his kids) way more in such a short time then he ever had. A contradiction. I tried to illuminate this huge discrepancy to her, and her response,"Ironmanfalls, you live in the past. Stop being so insecure and jealous, especially since he is dead. He was never insecure like you." Once in devaluation, all of my words to her, were not registered correctly. At all. How she views me now depends on what filter in her distorted mind she is viewing me through. A filter with horrific consequences, most keenly felt by the person being viewed, me.

[Nearlybroken]

My ex blamed his ex wife totally for the breakdown of their marriage.Totally.And guess what?I believed him and felt so sorry for him.Only now... .having gone through what I can only describe as hell on earth and having been labelled in exactly the same way as his wife,having been treated in the same way as he treated her( he used to boast about the fact that they would regularly argue, separate,fight  and reunite)having found out that he maintained contact with this woman who was supposed to be so evil,do I realise that it was not her at all.And to think that when we split he told me I was just like her (he told me she was violent and possessive etc etc... .things I most certainly wasnt )... .only to be seen with her two days later and going on to attempt a reconciliation with her... .the mind boggles.My life would make a great book... .would have to market it as a work of fiction though rather than a journal. :)NB.x

[RecycledNoMore]

Hmm

Well my uBPDx had been going out 6 years, he got drunk on new years and assaulted me badly, he lost his job and had to move into a hostel, I helped him, gave money, brought food etc, he ended up cheating on me with a girl down the hall, he dumped me for her, we recycled( duh), he told me she had poor hygiene habits, smelled blablabla, that she was abusive yadda yadda yadda, I swallowed it ( duh), then toward the LAST break up, he would waffle on about how beautiful, how amazing she was, how hed never found happiness in his life till he met her ... .

Bollocks.

Mad much?, yes I am.