Is BPD logical or unlogical?

[arn131arn]

Thanks for the laugh soldier. Guess I'm just really starting to see what it truly is... .that's all.

[Conundrum]

Being sentient, yet possessing traits that make stable mature relationships unmanageable. Excessive needs foster uncontrollable desires for stimulation, excitement and attention--causing shameful actions. Those actions ruin relationships with nons.

They would rather give up on the relationship then discard those maladaptive needs. Those needs or actions are in great part how they define their own identities (when not solely mirroring another). Just below those surface masks, exist personalities fabricated from patch-work maladaptive needs utilized as coping tools. Deep under that strata hides the scarred, scared, timid, lost wild child, which many of us have attempted to befriend. That ferral being hidden far away in the shadows can hardly ever be tamed. That is the tragic result of these apocalyptic childhood traumas. Through no fault of their own--they fell. The day their music died--in perpetuity

To love and have feelings towards another despite the objective obtacles, whether disordered or not--is neither logical nor illogical (imo), it's simply being human. Both pwBPD and nons share that trait.

[MammaMia]

arn

You need to learn to forgive YOURSELF for your behavior.  Your BPDx probably could not care less.  Remember, life is all about her.

If you do apologize, be very careful not to re-engage her IN ANY WAY.  Also be aware that apologizing will only validate her feelings that you deserved everything she did and said.

Maybe you should write a letter to her, spill your guts... .then re-read it several times over the course of a few days before you tear it up and throw it away!  It might help.

[Turkish]

Soldier of sorrow


Why they don't lose their controls while they are at work? My husband is psychiatrist himself. Why all his colleouges think he's one of the most caring man?

They must have a reason in their minds to control themselves. We were already too deep in that chaos and they used us as a punch bag to rag at us to FEEL LIVELY. When we took all abuses, there was no reason for them to control themselves!

There you go, right there. That's on those of us in LTRs, to varying degrees.

[damage control]

Well, it's hard not to especially imagining her as a 5 year old child. I am angry at her, but don't think I hate her. I did love her with all my heart, ya'll. But to say what I said is inexplicable.  do I feel so terrible. I would have never said that to a child... .know what I mean?

You didn't say it to a child. She is a grown woman. Having parts of her (relational/intimacy) that are warped and cannot respond in the same way as you doesn't make her a child, it just means that there are undeveloped aspects of her psyche ... .you need to find some peace with what you said and perhaps - in the future - when you are detached and no longer emotionally enmeshed with her - then you can apologise ... this will also mean more to her after some time has passed.