Well... this sucks

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

About 10 months ago when my relationship was new, we went away on vacation and stayed in the holiday inn. I remember at the time, the clerk encouraged my girlfriend to join their rewards members club. She did, but she didn't want to give her email... . so I gave mine. It totally slipped my mind.

This morning I awake to an email in my inbox confirming her reservations for 2 in the hotel where I have the unfortunate knowledge of her sleeping with another guy while we were still patching things up. I am sure she has continued to see that guy. And it doesn't surprise me. But to know her whereabouts and what she's doing is hurtful all the same.

This kinda triggered me... . big

[JohnThorn]

About 10 months ago when my relationship was new, we went away on vacation and stayed in the holiday inn. I remember at the time, the clerk encouraged my girlfriend to join their rewards members club. She did, but she didn't want to give her email... . so I gave mine. It totally slipped my mind.

This morning I awake to an email in my inbox confirming her reservations for 2 in the hotel where I have the unfortunate knowledge of her sleeping with another guy while we were still patching things up. I am sure she has continued to see that guy. And it doesn't surprise me. But to know her whereabouts and what she's doing is hurtful all the same.

This kinda triggered me... . big

[kba1969]

That would piss me off, sorry!  I collect contemporary glass marbles, for my x's birthday I bought her a really cool universe marble worth $300.  It was one of the first meaningful gifts I gave her.  I hadn't been to her house in a while but went over one day and told her I wanted to see it.  She told me she didn't know what happened to it and told me that her mother might have taken it!  Lol!  I kinda think she gave it to someone else and that hurts too.  I guess it meant more to me than her!  Cancel your notifications from the hotel so that doesn't happen again.  Boy their thinking can be skewed!

[LettingGo14]

This kinda triggered me... . big

JT --I'm sorry you are dealing with that unexpected email.  How do we work with such triggers?  Here are some things I do:

1.  Re-read Surviving a Breakup with Someone Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder - 10 Beliefs That Can Get You Stuck

2.  Re-read and employ TOOLS: Triggering, Mindfulness, and the Wise Mind

What emotions are you experiencing right now?   Another set of methods with regard to thoughts is to employ one of 5 "r's" --

1.  Replace -- substitute thought

2.  Reflect -- analyze thought

3.  Reject -- ignore thought

4.  Relax -- reduce underlying stress

5.  Remove -- combat the thought

Hope that helps.  We're here for you.