coming undone again

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So its been 5 odd months since the demise of my rs with exBPDgf. Never used face book beforei know she loved it her source playground. So i joined to hook up with some old friends wich i did and that was great. I resisted the urge to look her up several times, knowing if i did that i might as well pass myself the shovel and start digging that hole.

Anyway i added a friend of a friend good looking lady pretty 'eyes' colorfull hair and tattoos etc.Got chatting on there wow the 'sparks' started flying great i thought, she talked about herself a bit and me it suddenly dawned on me she was laying out the game and holding her hand out offering me the chance to 'dance'  and then i realised i was halfway there to take her hand.

Arrghhh whats wrong with me, and the BPDs are everywhere.

[neverloveagain]

So its been 5 odd months since the demise of my rs with exBPDgf. Never used face book beforei know she loved it her source playground. So i joined to hook up with some old friends wich i did and that was great. I resisted the urge to look her up several times, knowing if i did that i might as well pass myself the shovel and start digging that hole.

Anyway i added a friend of a friend good looking lady pretty 'eyes' colorfull hair and tattoos etc.Got chatting on there wow the 'sparks' started flying great i thought, she talked about herself a bit and me it suddenly dawned on me she was laying out the game and holding her hand out offering me the chance to 'dance'  and then i realised i was halfway there to take her hand.

Arrghhh whats wrong with me, and the BPDs are everywhere.

[Lolster]

So its been 5 odd months since the demise of my rs with exBPDgf. Never used face book beforei know she loved it her source playground. So i joined to hook up with some old friends wich i did and that was great. I resisted the urge to look her up several times, knowing if i did that i might as well pass myself the shovel and start digging that hole.

Anyway i added a friend of a friend good looking lady pretty 'eyes' colorfull hair and tattoos etc.Got chatting on there wow the 'sparks' started flying great i thought, she talked about herself a bit and me it suddenly dawned on me she was laying out the game and holding her hand out offering me the chance to 'dance'  and then i realised i was halfway there to take her hand.

Arrghhh whats wrong with me, and the BPDs are everywhere.

The good news is you realised she was indeed "laying out the game" and the bad news is that yes, they are everywhere, particularly active on social networking/dating sites as it is a useful tool for them to try and hook people before having to face the possibility of rejection.

Oh, and there is nothing wrong with you, it is them. 

[willy45]

They aren't everywhere... .Only 2% of population by medical stats.

Take this as good news that you can identify someone who is not good for you and take a pass on them. That's real growth. And that should lessen your anxiety around it. Well done!

[refusetosuccumb]

  Good going.  She may or may not have BPD.  But you listened to your gut, something all of us wish we would have done way back when.

[LettingGo14]

Arrghhh whats wrong with me, and the BPDs are everywhere.

Nothing is "wrong" with you.  And this is not us vs. them.  All relationships, in and of themselves are hard work and difficult, and we each need a sense of self and boundaries and safety.

I commend you for taking care of yourself.  For listening to your intuition.  For deciding what felt right and what did not.  That is a great start, and part of the journey of healing.

[neverloveagain]

I thank you all for your kind words and truthfull. I so confused theres been a few gals i spoke to and hung with since the split that are quite 'normal' just felt there was no sparks or 'danger' that BPDexgf had. I think im screwed.