Can never make up my mind (overthinking)

[lucky013]

This is getting a bit concerning now, I overthink and question myself on everything I do.

I'm guessing this is either my emotions getting the better of me or perfectionism.

I can only get out my head by doing things that are very intense like rock climbing.

Whenever I sit down at my computer to start work or research something other than this, I cannot seem to focus.

Did anyone experience this after a breakup?

[vanx]

I experience this, especially after breaking up with my expwBPD. I also have a history of OCD and serious rumination problems.
Keep doing things that distract you in healthy ways like rock climbing, and take time to feel good about yourself for doing so.
It will pass in time. Grieving the end is a process. Just being aware of what your mind is doing counts for a lot.
Chewing things over has a useful function of helping you learn. Once it becomes overthinking, the main solution I think is to embrace the unknown.
Do you have a sense of whether you are trying to answer certain questions?

[Mutt]

Hi Lucky013,

This is getting a bit concerning now, I overthink and question myself on everything I do.

Can you give us an example of the things that’s onyour mind? Do you think your ex? Are you you  worried about things like your  health? I recall I had a difficult time concentrating on my work at the beginning,  my world was upside down for a good while.

That’s good to hear that you’re releasing serotonin with rock climbing. You’ll feel more relaxed and your head is clearer. Do you work out? Do you routinely go to the gym?

[limetaste]

This is getting a bit concerning now, I overthink and question myself on everything I do.

I'm guessing this is either my emotions getting the better of me or perfectionism.

I can only get out my head by doing things that are very intense like rock climbing.

Whenever I sit down at my computer to start work or research something other than this, I cannot seem to focus.

Did anyone experience this after a breakup?

Went through a semi-destructive relationship for 5 years that ended 2 years ago. After that I waited almost half a year before I started dating. First girl I dated manipulated me and recycled me every weekend. I remember I listened to this song: https://youtu.be/yzTuBuRdAyA which was funny. She only called me late at night when she had been out drinking, she kept me on. After we "split" (she never wanted to be in a relationship) she tried to recycle me about 5 times, even contacting my new girlfriend, proxy by her sister.

I was never in love with this girl, but I thought I was due to the 5 years of relationship I went through and she was the first I ever let in afterwards. I took about 1 day after meeting my new girlfriend to come over the feelings for this girl. Fun part is, this new girlfriend recently left me through splitting, devalued me black. It took 15 minutes until she made up her mind and packed her stuff up.

Now to the question. After things when bad with the girl that I started "dating" after this 5 year old relationship I started with bicycling a lot. In the past I've always went up on the bike for trips, went out exploring. After the breakup it went kind of OCD and I did maybe 4 hours per day of bicycling. I dropped weight fast, and my resting heart beat went under 50 BPM. Doing this was sort of a meditation for me, it helped a lot, but getting over her happened by meeting this new girlfriend, who I now assume has BPD. And by the thought of it, I'm guessing this girl I "dated" before also had symptoms of BPD.

I'm susceptible to self-destruction and I'm a magnet for these BPD-females. I don't know why really, but this has to be the last one.

Like I said above, doing this heavy training/cardio wasn't the solution, but at the time it helped me to somehow stay focused at least for some hours per day. I don't think it will solve any problems, just flatten them out. The only thing that will solve our situation is to meet a new partner that shows us TRUE love, and not some manifested dramatic saga. The only problem is - experiencing this extreme type of "love" our exBPD has shown, we tend to undermine normal type of love. It's like our reward system in our brain has changed, just needy for the "ups" we felt through our BPD-relationship.

[Lost-love-mind]

First girl I dated manipulated me and recycled me every weekend.

. She only called me late at night when she had been out drinking, she kept me on. After we "split" (she never wanted to be in a relationship) she tried to recycle me about 5 times, even contacting my new girlfriend, proxy by her sister.

I was never in love with this girl, but I thought I was due to the 5 years of relationship I went through and she was the first I ever let in afterwards. I took about 1 day after meeting my new girlfriend to come over the feelings for this girl. Fun part is, this new girlfriend recently left me through splitting, devalued me black. It took 15 minutes until she made up her mind and packed her stuff up.

 who I now assume has BPD. And by the thought of it, I'm guessing this girl I "dated" before also had symptoms of BPD.

I'm susceptible to self-destruction and I'm a magnet for these BPD-females. I don't know why really, but this has to be the last one.

 The only thing that will solve our situation is to meet a new partner that shows us TRUE love, and not some manifested dramatic saga. The only problem is - experiencing this extreme type of "love" our exBPD has shown, we tend to undermine normal type of love. It's like our reward system in our brain has changed, just needy for the "ups" we felt through our BPD-relationship.

Always amazing how stories of others parallel my own.
After a

[Lost-love-mind]

Went through a semi-destructive relationship for 5 years that ended 2 years ago. After that I waited almost half a year before I started dating. First girl I dated manipulated me and recycled me every weekend. I remember I listened to this song: https://youtu.be/yzTuBuRdAyA which was funny. She only called me late at night when she had been out drinking, she kept me on. After we "split" (she never wanted to be in a relationship) she tried to recycle me about 5 times, even contacting my new girlfriend, proxy by her sister.

I was never in love with this girl, but I thought I was due to the 5 years of relationship I went through and she was the first I ever let in afterwards. I took about 1 day after meeting my new girlfriend to come over the feelings for this girl. Fun part is, this new girlfriend recently left me through splitting, devalued me black. It took 15 minutes until she made up her mind and packed her stuff up.

Now to the question. After things when bad with the girl that I started "dating" after this 5 year old relationship I started with bicycling a lot. In the past I've always went up on the bike for trips, went out exploring. After the breakup it went kind of OCD and I did maybe 4 hours per day of bicycling. I dropped weight fast, and my resting heart beat went under 50 BPM. Doing this was sort of a meditation for me, it helped a lot, but getting over her happened by meeting this new girlfriend, who I now assume has BPD. And by the thought of it, I'm guessing this girl I "dated" before also had symptoms of BPD.

I'm susceptible to self-destruction and I'm a magnet for these BPD-females. I don't know why really, but this has to be the last one.

Like I said above, doing this heavy training/cardio wasn't the solution, but at the time it helped me to somehow stay focused at least for some hours per day. I don't think it will solve any problems, just flatten them out. The only thing that will solve our situation is to meet a new partner that shows us TRUE love, and not some manifested dramatic saga. The only problem is - experiencing this extreme type of "love" our exBPD has shown, we tend to undermine normal type of love. It's like our reward system in our brain has changed, just needy for the "ups" we felt through our BPD-relationship.

Sometimes I get the wrong time on my post.  Here goes again:Always amazing how stories of others parallel my own.
After a