Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 01, 2025, 03:08:57 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Low contact=same drama
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Low contact=same drama (Read 443 times)
icecream
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 92
Low contact=same drama
«
on:
September 06, 2014, 07:21:31 AM »
My ex and me are in low contact. Nothing more besides 1 or 2 lines in a text message every 2-3 weeks when she reaches out.
Since i am healing and detaching during this low contact i put off my phone during the nights. In the past the nights is a time for her to become needy and that kept me awake many times when she reaches out in the middle of the night and when i didnt had the knowledge about pwBPD.
When i put my Phone back on yesterday i got 30 messages from her were she reached out to me the night before. Saying things like:
-i dont know how to handle myself
-i'm stuck
-i have so much pain everywhere
-i am distancing myself
-sorry if i disappoint you so many times
-i suck as a friend
-its hard to like me
-blabla... .
I replied shorty saying:
Sorry you are feeling this way, you know i would support you if you are willing to work on making yourself feel better. I'm disappointed if you dont have the respect to talk things through.
All day she doesnt reply, while she is active on social media. So by the end of the day i was so fed up with this ___ and sended her a message saying:
-This silence is exactly what i mean
This is what i got back:
-i'm overloaded in work
-pain and falling asleep
-it wont happen again
-not in the mood for fighting
-dont pay attention to my thoughts at night
-you know what... .i'm off
I just put a boundery i need a repons on my words if i have the respect and the effort to reply you when you need me and now she started to rage at me for what... .:
-for not giving her the chance to ruin my nightsleep
-for not pampering her
-for putting a line i wont take silence after my efforts on her
Unfollow her on social media now and a folder limited.
Low contact started triggering her i guess, limited contact access too, and now getting punished for that... .
So done with it. I'm proud of keeping my boundery, i'm proud of not reaching out to her, i'm proud of feeling releaved this might be the drop which leads to freedom.
Logged
Cocoon
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 32
Re: Low contact=same drama
«
Reply #1 on:
September 06, 2014, 10:39:02 PM »
Thank you for sharing.
I sometimes just need to feel heard and understood.
Good job on maintaining no phone calls, no in person visits, and not falling back into recycle tonight!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Low contact=same drama
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...