The ability to only remember the bad

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

and even the "bad" has grown in size such that it's not even recognizable as the original offense.  I kick myself for validating him back then because to him it was an admission of guilt.  On this guilt he builds and builds to the point nothing good was ever given.  Deeds profusely appreciated then are scoffed at now, in light of the magnitude of wrongs accumulated over the years.

What I'm feeling right now is hard to describe: like I'm dead inside but maybe it's the death of hope that's always been a part of us.  If it's what I needed to see maybe I'll feel like seeing it tomorrow.

[swiftkick]

and even the "bad" has grown in size such that it's not even recognizable as the original offense.  I kick myself for validating him back then because to him it was an admission of guilt.  On this guilt he builds and builds to the point nothing good was ever given.  Deeds profusely appreciated then are scoffed at now, in light of the magnitude of wrongs accumulated over the years.

What I'm feeling right now is hard to describe: like I'm dead inside but maybe it's the death of hope that's always been a part of us.  If it's what I needed to see maybe I'll feel like seeing it tomorrow.

[Mutt]

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling empty inside. Try to find some me time and take care of you. TLC  

I think that you're talking about dissociation. A pwBPD will alter reality to match their out of place feelings (lying is a form of dissociation) Dissociation is a big part of the disorder and it feels like they move the yardstick around at whim. It is about their emotions.

The original offense will alter change and grow based around his feelings. Someone that changes reality often us a signs of mental illness. Don't be hard on yourself for validating him.

Take care