Why am I the bad guy?

[enlighten me]

So I had a message tonight from my uBPDexgf asking if she can have my sofa and cooker. We split up in may and her and the kids (1 mine 2 from previous partners) have been living in my house rent free, with all the bills paid for and with me paying some maintenance on top.

Tomorrow she moves out and being the mug I am I gave her £8850 to clear her credit card (which she says was run up doing the house up but I know not even half of it was for that), to pay her first months rent and deposit and also to help furnish it.

I said she could have the sofa but not the cooker. This led to a tirade of abuse and blame and her letting me know how much I don't appreciate everything she has done for me and that she still does.

I find it incredible how after doing more for her than any of her exs ever have that I am still the bad guy. I forgot to mention that she has also kept the family car which I paid £11000 towards.

[Nomad1027]

I find it incredible how after doing more for her than any of her exs ever have that I am still the bad guy. I forgot to mention that she has also kept the family car which I paid £11000 towards.

I think this is just another twisted defense mechanism their illness taps into to make it easier for them to leave with less shame and guilt.  They paint you black because they feel stressed, guilty/shamed, etc. and once you are black they can proceed with leaving guilt-free.  It doesn't matter how much you do for them.  Once they feel threatened the feeling overwhelms all logic.  They do not act rationally, but from a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.  It is part of their illness.  It doesn't ever change, it doesn't get better.

[enlighten me]

My uBPDexw said to me a few months back that she had been thinking and she realised how much I had done for her and wanted to thank me for it. So maybe one day my exgf will realise. Just so frustrating having to bite my tongue when all I want to do is scream at her that she delusional and needs help.