My ex girlfriend tried to beat me.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi there! Some of you may know my story, other not. Here is a link of my story. https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=232144.msg12485017#msg12485017

So I met her today on the street. The moment I saw her there were tears in her eyes. I tried to take her hand and said hey wait, but she walked away. Then from distance she said I should be afraid of her because she wil beat me and I laughed. She came back to me and started punching me and trying to hit my head, my face, my nose and ti kick my testicles. It was for about 1-2 minutes and all during this time I was laughing ( I don't know why) but I managed to block her she could not hit me good only my hand has some brushes. She was very angry with tears in her eyes. After she stopped trying to hit my head she asked me do you want more and I said that I will not hit a girl. I laughed nad said she is sick brain and screamed 5 times that she has BPD ( she does not know she has it). I don't know how I managed to save my face from her punches because I was laughing all the time.

[lm911]

Hi there! Some of you may know my story, other not. Here is a link of my story. https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=232144.msg12485017#msg12485017

So I met her today on the street. The moment I saw her there were tears in her eyes. I tried to take her hand and said hey wait, but she walked away. Then from distance she said I should be afraid of her because she wil beat me and I laughed. She came back to me and started punching me and trying to hit my head, my face, my nose and ti kick my testicles. It was for about 1-2 minutes and all during this time I was laughing ( I don't know why) but I managed to block her she could not hit me good only my hand has some brushes. She was very angry with tears in her eyes. After she stopped trying to hit my head she asked me do you want more and I said that I will not hit a girl. I laughed nad said she is sick brain and screamed 5 times that she has BPD ( she does not know she has it). I don't know how I managed to save my face from her punches because I was laughing all the time.

[Infern0]

Wow!

How you feeling mate? That's pretty intense even by their standards.

[lm911]

Honestly, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for bumping into her and I feel guilty for the words I said to her after ste stopped punching me. I feel guilty that I said she is sick brain and she has BPD. I don't know why I feel that way- but I feel it. It will pass. My advice to all is absolute no contact- not even saying hello, becuase if she had a knife with her I could be in a hospital now. And this was not a some lady fight, it was a serious attempt - she did all she can to beat me and to take me down but I managed to survive.

[Aussie0zborn]

Oh dear. Do you feel perhaps that your laughing was because of the unbelievable and incredible nature of the attack - ie. unprovoked, unwarranted and unexpected? Did you expect that to happen at that moment?

I didn't laugh the first time I was assaulted and while I managed to block most of her punches, a number slipped through and my face was bruised. I was more shocked at the unexpected nature and severity of the attack as I wasn't expecting it.

As you say, had she had a knife with her you might have been in hospital or even worse, not been here to tell us about it. My experience is that as they are not responsible for their actions (in their mind) because of how just the sight of you makes them feel when they're having a bad day, then you deserve what you get. If you consider this is their driving force then you should be afraid, very afraid.

Your advice of NO CONTACT is incredibly wise under the circumstances. I hope you stick to it. 

[lm911]

Aussie0zborn

Yes, I was laughing because there was no reason for her attack and the whole situation her pathetic behaviour made me just laugh. During the time we were together she had told me many times that she wanted to beat some of the people she knew, but until today she had not tried to beat anyone. I am her first, meaning her condition is getting worse so I really should avoid here at any cost.

[Bak86]

That's just awful. I can totally relate to this story.

My ex once told me she wanted to kick me. I just laughed away. Couple of weeks later she slammed a cabinet door in my face, i actually had to laugh when that happened. When i told her i didn't like that she got physical with me, set her off. She threatened that if i didn't act normal(mirroring/projection?) i would have to face the consequences. The results would not be nice. Once again, i had to laugh.

[lm911]

Thank you for you support. I would to ask you about her tears in her eyes at the first moment I saw her. I know that it does not matter, but tears in her eyes only from seconds seeing me? They mean what - anger, guilt or?

[maxen]

did you go to the police?

[lm911]

did you go to the police?

No, I don't have any scars or sth like that. I have only brushes on my left hand with which I have managed to prevent her from hitting my face and head.

[maxen]

i mean, just about the incident at all. she battered you.

[lm911]

i mean, just about the incident at all. she battered you.

No, the police will laugh or will not believe me because there are no scars. Moreover, I don't feel like beaten to go to the police. If she had managed to break my nose, I would have gone to the police and sue her. I just don't  feel like a victim. I feel strong. The guilt I was feeling hours ago has gone.

[lm911]

I think all of us in this board : Leaving should thank GOD that it is over for us, beucase people with this disorder are dangerous for the ones who love them.

[clydegriffith]

I feel your pain. The BPDx would often times during her rages, push and punch me then call the police and say i did that to her. The reasons for her abuse never made any sense and she even had one of these violent episodes against me when i caught her cheating. So glad to be out of that.

[lm911]

Update:

Got a message from her in quotes:

“I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.”

Should I be concerned?

[CareTaker]

I had a very similar, yet scary incident. Toward the end of our relationship, I think she got the idea I wanted out. Not just another breakup, but out for good. So fights where the order of the day.

She had these lists of things in her mind. One would be all the things I did wrong from day one of our relationship. (it lasted 3 years, so yeah, the list was long). Another would be all the things I refused to pay, and the other all the things I still had to buy.

So here we are having a fight about something, and she goes completely off the point and starts by List A point 1.1

Geez, I have heard this a 1000 times. So I just broke down and scream: SHUT THE F***K UP.

She jumped up and grabbed the kitchen knife and came for me. Fortunately,  she realized what she just did, and stopped. We discussed what happened, and she said it was my fault. Because I shouted at her, she thought her life was in danger, and had to defend herself... .?

That was so damn scary, but it convinced me to get the hell out, and stay out.

[Sandman1881]

I've been shaken pretty hard throughout life and did not need this living hell either. But I asked for it and I got it. I was the one walking blindly and not asking any hard questions to find out more about this woman that I was now professing my love for. I am accepting personal responsibility, but no longer blaming myself. I'm so much happier out. And glad she was able to latch onto new supply. The older they get the harder that will become. Your supply will eventually end, but your burning desires will not.

I used to think that the past didn't matter all that much, until I learned of yet another complete lie and her not telling me her ex husband has been HIV+ for over a decade and when she found out she still married him. I don't know about the later part of that, but the HIV+ status was real. I read it in the divorce papers. Apparently she's safe and I've tested negative 2x so far. I believe I will be okay.

I've just entered my second month out. Imagine finding that out on your third day of NC by court order after having her arrested for 2xassult 1xharrassemnt and 1xstrangulation as she attempted to smother me with both hands and her bodyweight after I fell asleep. I'm taking back my power and not giving her anymore of myself to feed on. The Assistant DA informed me that the OP will be in effect FOR LIFE! Thank you God. One oddball contact and she goes to jail. I think I can safely say I'm done for good and things are looking so much better for me already. And I'm back driving my own bus again - how it should be. I don't need to have a woman next to be to be happy. And I'm vowing to keep it that way. No commitments for a while. No moving in together. No more rushing into a fantasy. It's time to put the proof back into the pudding. What does that actually mean.?

She is a true witch and I feel for the poor ass - her new supply - (even though it hurts and I'm not getting my abuse dose) that SOB truly has no idea what he into. Quite the sticky web. So glad I am out. But learning the truth and not having much clue until the very end was quite painful. But a great lesson learned.

I was able to cut her off and she can no longer feed me the cowardly abuse. Her pride? I think not. She's losing her game and she knows it. I'm so much better than and it kills her that she's forced to have to disconnect by law. No more of her harassment and spiteful behaviors. Mo more evil manipulation and practicing lies. No more everything that has anything to do with her. I cut her off at the head and I'm enjoying every minute of it. That's what she gets for trying nonstop to completely destroy me. And this isn't over. We still have business to address through the court system. My lawyer is on board and soon enough I will begin MY attack and get back what belongs to me.

How's that for a Crazy Bi&ch?

Good luck moving forward.

Lying is a sport to them. Well at least it was to her.

They can be quite violent, as mine was. I felt it was best to leave and now I'm trying to lift up my self esteem and focus on me again. No more yearlong interruption. We all need to put ourselves first and STOP playing with broken toys. Throw the broken toys into the trash where they belong and charge forward with your own life. That is all we can do to finally win. We will win once again.

AND STAY OFF THE DAMN DATING "WEB"SITES! THAT'S WHERE THEY COLLECT YOU. NO MORE BEING NAIEVE AND FOOLISH! Please... .

[CareTaker]

They can be quite violent, as mine was. I felt it was best to leave and now I'm trying to lift up my self esteem and focus on me again. No more yearlong interruption. We all need to put ourselves first and STOP playing with broken toys. Throw the broken toys into the trash where they belong and charge forward with your own life. That is all we can do to finally win. We will win once again.

AND STAY OFF THE DAMN DATING "WEB"SITES! THAT'S WHERE THEY COLLECT YOU. NO MORE BEING NAIEVE AND FOOLISH! Please... .

Don't feel sorry when you see another guy with your ex. Our parents always taught us to give your broken toys to the less fortunate.

Yip, I met mine on a dating site, and she met my replacement there as well.

[misty_red]

It happened to me as well. We were already broken up but still friends. That day she told me I was an experiment (I'm bisexual and female) and she never wanted to make out with me again (we still were friends with benefits). I accepted it. Later that day she made me staying at her place. She said "I know you feel miserable. You are too vulnerable to stay at your place alone. You stay with me." I did, I really thought she was just being nice and concerned. When we were at her place she quietly sat down next to me even though she was really tired so I told her to go to bed. I even had myself lay down on her couch. But she didn't want to. Then we started tickling and pinching each other at some point. Always was some kind of foreplay when still together but it wasn't intentioned to start anything sexual from my side at least. At some point she suddenly out of the blue kicked me really hard with her foot at my ankle - boy did it hurt. I really was baffled and she as well. She then rushed to bed. I believe she wanted me to make a move at her again (but I didn't want to, I took her serious when she told me some hours before that she never wanted to make out with me again).This whole incident was so weird but I was being too shocked and baffled to address it later and we never talked about that again.

I'm sorry for all of you who have experienced physical violence. This is so wrong yet we still accept it and are even afraid to address because then it might become even worse... .

[maxen]

Update:

Got a message from her in quotes:

“I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.”

Should I be concerned?

yes you should, especially after what happened before. save that message, in case you need to show it to the police. nobody here can tell anyone what to do; i admit though to a little frustration that you pooh-poo'd the beating. it's not about whether you feel like a victim, it's about what she did.

TOOLS: Domestic Violence Against Men