I want so badly to contact her.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Me and my ex were together for 1 year. We started dating after 3 month in which we were friends with benefits. She wanted me so bad, that I could not resist her. But only 3-4 months after the romantic relationship started the sabotage began. So I had to break up with her this January with the idea to be just freinds and hopefully she would understand her mistakes and about a time we would be together again. Sadly she started searching for new boyfrined as soon as possible. When I asked her why so quickly, she became very angry and said we can’t be friends if I ask her questions like this. Then I tried some desperate contacts and even told I loved her but she said that she didn’t love me anymore and would never do. After week I called her one more time to ask her to go out and she was even more angry and used rude words againts me.

In March she got a new boyfriend and even sent me a naked picture with him to see his tatoo. Then I applied no contact rule. Meanwhile she broke with him. After 30 days I called her to ask her to go grab something to eat, because I have a good occasion. She said no wished me all the best and so did I. After 5 minutes she called angrier than ever and again told me not to call her because “You can’t talk to me **** and then call me ” and I hung up the phone. I wrote her an email to apologize. She apologized too and wished me the best. After a month I saw her in one store and we managed to do a normal converasion for about 2-3 minutes and then suddenly she said nasty things and accused me of everything and said that the apology could not help. Now I am here again - wanting to contact her. I know I should not do it, but I also need your support to tell me not to do it.

[lm911]

Me and my ex were together for 1 year. We started dating after 3 month in which we were friends with benefits. She wanted me so bad, that I could not resist her. But only 3-4 months after the romantic relationship started the sabotage began. So I had to break up with her this January with the idea to be just freinds and hopefully she would understand her mistakes and about a time we would be together again. Sadly she started searching for new boyfrined as soon as possible. When I asked her why so quickly, she became very angry and said we can’t be friends if I ask her questions like this. Then I tried some desperate contacts and even told I loved her but she said that she didn’t love me anymore and would never do. After week I called her one more time to ask her to go out and she was even more angry and used rude words againts me.

In March she got a new boyfriend and even sent me a naked picture with him to see his tatoo. Then I applied no contact rule. Meanwhile she broke with him. After 30 days I called her to ask her to go grab something to eat, because I have a good occasion. She said no wished me all the best and so did I. After 5 minutes she called angrier than ever and again told me not to call her because “You can’t talk to me **** and then call me ” and I hung up the phone. I wrote her an email to apologize. She apologized too and wished me the best. After a month I saw her in one store and we managed to do a normal converasion for about 2-3 minutes and then suddenly she said nasty things and accused me of everything and said that the apology could not help. Now I am here again - wanting to contact her. I know I should not do it, but I also need your support to tell me not to do it.

[camuse]

hi lm911

I know how you feel. You know this person is not good for you, but you want to contact them. Probably you have an image of them apologising, coming back and everything being ok? But you know this is not going to happen. This person has treated you very cruelly, and you should cut them totally out of your life for good.

I know it's not that easy. Have you tried deleting their number?

Please don't contact her right now. Others will be along with more support I'm sure. I know it's very difficult, keep posting if it helps you stop yourself. Contacting her will only bring you more pain, and I think you know this.

How long has it been since your last contact?

[lm911]

The last conversasion I mentioned was 2 months ago. I last saw her 20 days ago on the street but we did not talk ot sth like that. Just passed each other.

[Tiepje3]

Just don't do it. You have summed up all the things she did to you and how badly hurt you were by that. All that would happen if you'd contact her again, would be getting your hopes up for something that is not going to happen. Try to distract yourself with other people, other activities, other energy around you.

I share the same feelings, and this board helps me to stay strong. We're worth more than this!

[camuse]

2 months is good progress. Don't throw it away, you'll just have to go trough those two months all over again? Do you want that?

Keep going. NC. soon will be 2.5 months, 3 months, 4 months - it will get easier, and eventually the pain will be gone, if you stay on the road.

I know it's tough, when you feel dreadful, its hard to see how contact can make it worse, and maybe it won't - but it will extend the pain, and you want to be free asap.

[lm911]

Thank you. I am glad the she has blocked me from all social media, so I can't so easiliy contact her for chat, because for sure I won't call her - I am afraid that she will be again furious with me.

[Infared]

2 months is good progress. Don't throw it away, you'll just have to go trough those two months all over again? Do you want that?

Keep going. NC. soon will be 2.5 months, 3 months, 4 months - it will get easier, and eventually the pain will be gone, if you stay on the road.

I know it's tough, when you feel dreadful, its hard to see how contact can make it worse, and maybe it won't - but it will extend the pain, and you want to be free asap.

iM911, I totally agree with everything that Camuse said.  

This woman sounds like she is very sick. ... better to keep going absolute NC and take care of you.  Perhaps find a good T and find out why you would want such craziness in your life. (That is what I did).  Sounds like you have serious FOO stuff to me going on here... .but I am no expert.  I say this tongue-in-cheek, but wouldn't it be just as painful to play around jay walking on a busy highway... you may get by with a few bruises for a while, but eventually... .

[lm911]

Update:

I accidentally met her with her mother in one shop, I smiled and said Hello, she looked me with contempt. It did not hurt me, but made me to think how damaged is her brain that she can get contempt on her face for a seconds and cycle this emotion into a different one just for a minutes.

[hope2727]

The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.  :'(

[Nicolai]

I don't think you should concern yourself with this woman. Relationships is rough just in normal, healthy once. But in these kinds it is downright hell! I do realise she filled you with a spark. But it would not have ended happy if you tried again. Infact... She would have realised you are even easier to manipulate then she thought. This would have been a repeating pattern for her. Be glad it didn't last for that long. Good luck, and do not contact her. The woman you fell in love with did not exist. It was a trick, a trick she could not substain.

[lm911]

I don't think you should concern yourself with this woman. Relationships is rough just in normal, healthy once. But in these kinds it is downright hell! I do realise she filled you with a spark. But it would not have ended happy if you tried again. Infact... She would have realised you are even easier to manipulate then she thought. This would have been a repeating pattern for her. Be glad it didn't last for that long. Good luck, and do not contact her. The woman you fell in love with did not exist. It was a trick, a trick she could not substain.

This is one of the most accurate things I have recently read in this board.

I would only want to add that they do this trick, because they are for the chase, not the capture. The moment someone is hooked, they start to lose interest and it is only a matter of time when you are painted black.