Returning to the EX

[Jmanster]

Hi guys so I broke up with my BPDex in July and we have been talking ever since. I told her I made a mistake breaking up with her and that I want her back, however she says that she has changed and is not ready to be in a committed relationship with me and that she is no longer IN love with me but still loves me. (Here is where it gets interesting) A few months of being fiends with benefits, she starts to tell me that she is starting to have feelings for me again. And a few days before she left for vacation (to Spain, she will be back on Monday) I'm in the car with her and she already starts referring me as her boyfriend and herself as my girlfriend. So, is she already wanting me to ask her to be her bf? Is this a mind game? If I ask her, what do you think will happen? I have become so much more observant in what she says, how she says it, and of course what she does. I am watching and observing her every move. She is already referring to us as a couple! (Again) So, is she already wanting me to ask her to be her bf? Is this a mind game? If I ask her, what do you think will happen?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[oletimefeelin]

Pay attention to her actions not her words.  This is especially important during the limbo phase of a BPD relationship.  Expecting a borderline's feelings to remain consistent is a disaster. 

Your eyes need to be open.

[Jmanster]

Thank you for the reply, what actions do I really have to keep my eyes open for specifically? Because I am currently in that limbo phase... .

[oletimefeelin]

Everything that doesn't come out of her mouth.  ;

Things like how quickly she calls you back.  Does she follow through with what she says she'll do, etc.  Don't let yourself get excited by what she says.

[Jmanster]

Have you had success going back? Has anybody? And is HAPPY with their decision?