I wonder sometimes beside all of us being healthy alpha men ,normal to a certain degree , let's say we had mild to medium issues that we discovered latter on when they left and treated us like dust in the wind .
Well, I'm not an alpha man, and I probably wouldn't label myself "normal" either. I certainly have my own issues, like everyone does.
Those issues that we have -- no matter how "mild" we may tell ourselves they are -- are in fact what led us to stay in these toxic relationships. That's where we have to focus if we want to heal.
Why in the heck did we stay ?
How many years did you stay in the RS and why ?
There are many reasons why people stay in relationships with pwBPD. Fear of loneliness; addiction; codependency; rescuing; looking for a distraction from our own issues; etc. (Also, yes, we did/do love our partners. But love alone is not what made us stay.)
We all have to ask these questions of ourselves --
Why did we stay? What needs of ours were being fulfilled by this relationship? Because these questions help us understand our own truths.