I normally try to work things out through reasoning understanding and resourcefulness
like many here I find myself having plumbed their depths find
little remains but direct confrontation ( M linehan s advice on this is when self
destructive acts are faced remedial action is required , to some extent I have
spurned the advice that sometime you have to let them crash an burn before you can help them
because this will happen anyway )
for this reason i have been searching for how to approach this I have been looking
at the Art of war Szun tzu an hope this will help guide me in winning in this
battle an have found many pearls of wisdom in there
this one was requoted by the Dali lama apparently and it seemed very apt in dealing with people with BPD
Sun Tzu The Art Of War.: " Do Not Let The Behavior Of Others Destroy Your Inner Peace " ... .Dalai Lama
If anyone can share there wisdom or the wisdom of others in pressing a course of action home it would
be much appreciated ( Dont lose your cool is going to have to be one of my mantras soon )
In other words use your brain and don't swing for the fences and see if you can coax your SO off the edge? I believe in that too but it depends on an honest assessment of his/her functionality. I think if they are violent, self destructive, suicidal, that there is nothing you can do and you should get out. If they are fairly functional and are just unrealistic, rude, and excessive blamers, it might be doable if you use the right techniques. I happen to be in the second camp.
