Delete

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hello bpdfamily

I haven't been here in a while.

In the last two weeks, I have cleaned out all last remaining vestiges of my short married life to a man with BPD.

It lasted from April 2013 to March 2014 when he moved out and disappeared from my life. In June 2014 the divorce was finalised.

I recently tore up all photos of us together.  I tore up all the newspaper clippings of him and his charity ":)rug Awareness Crusade" walks.  I deleted all files of his writings, his "autobiographical" stories from my computer.  I have nothing of his anymore. It was as if we never met.  And yet, I won't forget anything.

I am not bitter.  I was destined to meet someonelike like him and have all my childhood wounds re-activated, this time for me to listen to my inner pain and resolve some things I had buried deep inside for most of my 45 years on this planet.

I feel strangely liberated.  But still so sad for all that was lost, both for myself and for him. Not just stuff concerning the two of us together, but things that were lost to both of us in our childhood and young adulthood. 

A "great fire" swept through my life these past 2 years and has burnt all that was not needed anymore.  From the burnt remains I shall rebuild a more meaningful existance for myself.  I wish the same for others.  May there always be hope and may we not cling to what doesn't work for us.  Let go. Let go... .

[Ihope2]

Hello bpdfamily

I haven't been here in a while.

In the last two weeks, I have cleaned out all last remaining vestiges of my short married life to a man with BPD.

It lasted from April 2013 to March 2014 when he moved out and disappeared from my life. In June 2014 the divorce was finalised.

I recently tore up all photos of us together.  I tore up all the newspaper clippings of him and his charity ":)rug Awareness Crusade" walks.  I deleted all files of his writings, his "autobiographical" stories from my computer.  I have nothing of his anymore. It was as if we never met.  And yet, I won't forget anything.

I am not bitter.  I was destined to meet someonelike like him and have all my childhood wounds re-activated, this time for me to listen to my inner pain and resolve some things I had buried deep inside for most of my 45 years on this planet.

I feel strangely liberated.  But still so sad for all that was lost, both for myself and for him. Not just stuff concerning the two of us together, but things that were lost to both of us in our childhood and young adulthood. 

A "great fire" swept through my life these past 2 years and has burnt all that was not needed anymore.  From the burnt remains I shall rebuild a more meaningful existance for myself.  I wish the same for others.  May there always be hope and may we not cling to what doesn't work for us.  Let go. Let go... .

[jhkbuzz]

Hello bpdfamily

I haven't been here in a while.

In the last two weeks, I have cleaned out all last remaining vestiges of my short married life to a man with BPD.

It lasted from April 2013 to March 2014 when he moved out and disappeared from my life. In June 2014 the divorce was finalised.

I recently tore up all photos of us together.  I tore up all the newspaper clippings of him and his charity ":)rug Awareness Crusade" walks.  I deleted all files of his writings, his "autobiographical" stories from my computer.  I have nothing of his anymore. It was as if we never met.  And yet, I won't forget anything.

I am not bitter.  I was destined to meet someonelike like him and have all my childhood wounds re-activated, this time for me to listen to my inner pain and resolve some things I had buried deep inside for most of my 45 years on this planet.

I feel strangely liberated.  But still so sad for all that was lost, both for myself and for him. Not just stuff concerning the two of us together, but things that were lost to both of us in our childhood and young adulthood. 

A "great fire" swept through my life these past 2 years and has burnt all that was not needed anymore.  From the burnt remains I shall rebuild a more meaningful existance for myself.  I wish the same for others.  May there always be hope and may we not cling to what doesn't work for us.  Let go. Let go... .

I love this post... .thank you.

[fromheeltoheal]

A purging, out with the old, in with the new, throw it away, tear it up, burn it all, a cleansing; good for you hope!  I'm sure you noticed the transitions: something of his that was important, had sentimental value, then it was something that made you sad, and then mad, then it was just something, then it was something that just had to go, no question.  Out with the old, in with the new.  I agree, getting rid of all the unnecessaries from our lives is very freeing, it unburdens us and feels clean, as we head of in the direction of a great life of our own, wiser, design.  Good for you, run with it!