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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Journaling  (Read 363 times)
Heldfast
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: abandoned December 22, 2014
Posts: 286


« on: February 28, 2015, 12:47:32 PM »

I feel compelled to write her and get my feelings out. Her soon.to be ex best friend.suggested.journaling and.maybe sensing.it.to her when im done.if I still.feel I wantherback after all that... has.anyone done.so? If so, what did you do? Letters to SO, toyourself? What did you do with it?
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"Chaos is not a pit. Chaos is a ladder." - Lord Petyr Baelish
newlifeBPDfree
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 146



« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2015, 12:50:54 PM »

I feel compelled to write her and get my feelings out. Her soon.to be ex best friend.suggested.journaling and.maybe sensing.it.to her when im done.if I still.feel I wantherback after all that... has.anyone done.so? If so, what did you do? Letters to SO, toyourself? What did you do with it?

I have kept a journal off and on. I'm not very consistent but I noticed that sometimes when I have extreme emotions and don't know what else to do it helps to put it on paper. But if I was you I would just keep the journal for myself, I wouldn't send it to the BPD person. They will never be able to put themselves in your shoes and understand what you feel. They empathy and are too engrossed in their own feelings to even consider yours. Do it for yourself, looks back at your entries and see how far you have come emotionally.
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HostNoMore
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 360


« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2015, 02:49:18 PM »

Sending anything to her is a very, very bad idea for you even though it may feel like it's something you need to do.  Why feed the monster?  Also, you really don't know how she will twist it and use it against you.  Protect yourself send her nothing.  You're not dealing with someone who is capable of normal emotions.  Sending anything to her could trigger some bad consequences for you as in restraining orders, false accusations of violent threats, or even more insidious things.  They are known to pull stunts like that.

As for private journaling, I found it to be very helpful in aiding my recovery.  It can really help you make sense of things and find connections that will validate you to yourself.  I made a list of 50 things that I did not like about her which did not take very long to generate by the way.  I also made a timeline of events and weird things that happened that really helped me unravel some of the blatant lies she told me.
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Technique
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 62


« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2015, 05:06:48 PM »

I feel compelled to write her and get my feelings out. Her soon.to be ex best friend.suggested.journaling and.maybe sensing.it.to her when im done.if I still.feel I wantherback after all that... has.anyone done.so? If so, what did you do? Letters to SO, toyourself? What did you do with it?

Probably every day I have something I want to 'say' to her. Reflecting on many of the incident where I should have said NO! or 'You're bloody lying... .AGAIN!' but I don't, and will not. It may sound a little bonkers but sometimes, when I'm alone, I actually say these things out loud. I see it as some kind of exorcising of the toxic feelings.

By contacting her you're feeding the illness, and yes, she is more than likely to use it against you... .If you ever feel like getting things off your chest post it up here... I do it myself, and it helps... .
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