no more hope

[RR4U]

So it doesn't ever stop. I need to leave but scared. Asked him to go to a family birthday dinner and response NOPE I DONT WANT TO. i am.losing me. Not sure what first steps arw now. So lost... .

[SusanBB]

I can definitely relate.  I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

Do you know specifically what you're afraid of?

[RR4U]

He can be so evil and knows my triggers to make me feel like im losing my mind. 2 years ago i filed for seperation and he freaked out. Calling all the time and i thought he might hurt himself. We ended up trying to work things out but it just seems that i am running in circles.  I just cant fight anymore... .he tells me he is going to fight me for everything.  House. Dogs. Part of me feels like saying take it alL, all i need is me but the other parts says why should i do that. Guess good thing is there are no kids. I am thinking i shpuld start getting a bag together to keep somewhere safe. Just dont know if anywhere is safe. He will find me if he wants too.

[hope2727]

I am so sorry you are enduring this. It will get better. Yes put a bag together and leave it a work or a trusted friends. Long ago in another marriage I had to do that. I started with a change of clothes and enough if my medications to last a week. I included photocopies of my ID and other documents as time went by. Eventually I had copies of everything you could imagine. I stashed cash with a friend $50 at a time until I had $3000. It took awhile but I I ally gathered a copy of land title documents mortgages everything. In the end he left me but I was ready. I secretly opened a bank account with a new email address and made sure the bank knew to send NO paper mail. I strongly suggest beginning to plan. I didn't want to have to leave but it wasn't worth dying over. No one is. Pls come back and post regularly to let us know how you are doing.

[RR4U]

I spoke to a friend today she said i can keep a bag with her. I already have my own bank account.  Today hes nice as can be. But i feel i need to start making a move soon. Otherwise one more month will go into one more year.