And finally filing for divorce!
It took me a while to file due to 1) I was traumatized from years of emotional and financial abuse, 2) wasn't 100% sure if divorce was the right solution, and 3) simply didn't have the money to file for divorce immediately. Upon checking my mail yesterday, I received two letters from two different medical agencies informing me of outstanding invoices since my wife cancelled our health insurance without informing me. Of course my immediate reaction was becoming extremely angry and hostile, blaming her for everything wrong in my life. After about 15 minutes of sitting in the anger my dog interrupted me to take her on a walk. So I did take her for a nice, long walk which both of us needed. While I was exercising it dawned upon me that what my wife did was neither surprising nor entirely her fault.
I can't say that cancelling my health insurance is completely her fault is due to the fact that I assumed she wouldn't cancel it since I was still making car payments for her car as well as the auto insurance on said car until she got on her feet. Honestly, it was a completely foolish assumption on my part considering all the other awful things she had done in the past without taking a second to consider me. Previous to this incident I had been considering contacting her to see if there was any hope of us working things out since she isn't well mentally and this was weighing very heavily on my conscience. Luckily for me my Higher Power intervened and provided this much need opportunity to remind me of why I decided to separate and consider divorce as a valid solution. I then got in touch with my attorney immediately to proceed with filing for divorce.
I also started to consider pursuing a divorce in which I would go after her for many debts she owes but decided against this for a couple reasons. The first being that I do not want a long and drawn out divorce which will probably end up costing me more than its worth in attorney's fees alone. The second being that this will likely have unintended consequences, such as encouraging unwanted contact over said debts. As much as I would love to finally see my soon-to-be-ex have to be responsible for something in her life for once, it is not worth the additional financial and emotional damage it will surely wreak on my life. Unfortunate but true.
Anyways, I just wanted to post an update and wish everyone else well in their paths with their BPD's. I will continue to make updates as the divorce progresses. Take care until then everyone!
