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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Borderlines stabilizing as they get older? Is this only if they get treatment?  (Read 1066 times)
Lavanda

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 17



« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2015, 04:08:06 PM »

Older One understand you fully. Same feelings. My  recent 49 y/o/ ex was a BPD and he managed to ruin our realtionship in 6 months. He was not rude or mean but he would be depressed and emotionally unavailable for me. As soon as he felt I was a bit confused with this he just cut me off. Old pattern was still alive.
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OlderOne

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 9


« Reply #31 on: April 16, 2015, 08:50:51 AM »

Thanks Lavanda for your support. I wish I had been able to end it in six months. I knew there was something very different about him. I was clueless as to what was going on but I knew I should go slowly.  He was bound and determined to push his way in to my heart, my house and my mind.  He wanted to be there all the time (didn't have a job) but declared he was a writer.  He could write but he never actually finished the book. He resented anything I asked him to do around the house. Why did I put up with this for so long?  I failed myself by not shutting the door on him sooner.  I worked and I believe he took advantage of my not being able to focus fully on what he was all about.
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letmeout
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 790


« Reply #32 on: April 17, 2015, 11:43:13 PM »

I now believe that once you have escaped the clutches of a BPD you should never seriously consider going back, even if there are children involved. I believe they are absolutely mentally ill and have moments of "clarity of mind". They have a complicated "unstable" mental state

Ditto on those thoughts. We were married 35 yrs and he just kept getting worse with age. I have refused to break no contact for the past 3 years; my life is too peaceful now to ever go back into that kind of hell.

I wonder if I will be recovering for the rest of my life... .
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