Just taking

[foggydew]

Don't know how to deal with this one. UBPD person takes bottles of spirits from me without asking. At first I thought I was mistaken, then I knew I wasn't and asked if he'd taken it... he said he had. I didn't make a fuss at first, just saying he should tell me if he takes something. It has happened twice now in the last two weeks. I have now told him twice unmistakably that I don't want him to do this without asking or informing me. I told him it annoyed me.  On the one hand it is nothing much, on the other hand it feels as if it is stealing. I'm pretty sure it will happen again.

Any ideas on how I can react? Things are going pretty well at the moment apart from that... he's changing jobs, moving away... but we are organising our contact for the future. He obviously needs my reassurance and support.

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[JadeIshka]

Well, my first thought would be that if he refuses to be respectful of your request and your boundaries, remove access entirely. Can you put the spirits somewhere else where he can't access them? If this were my kid, for instance, that would be my approach--and continuously breaching someone's boundaries is decidedly childlike behavior. Good luck!

[foggydew]

Thaks, JadeIshka. You are very right about the childlike behaviour. And I've been doing some thinking about all the other small dishonesties that he has... he will never pay full price on the bus but always cheats... .if he can get away with anything he will (like posting things in my name on social media or drinking and driving  )... .and the provocations... (wearing an illegal symbol on his clothing, amongst other more direct things). So actually I guess this is not personal, but part of a bigger issue. He always needs to feel superior in some way.