Struggling with any type of perceived dysfunction... hyperawareness

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I was just wondering if anyone else is struggling with this sense of hyperawareness to dysfunction or those with perceived personality disorders/issues?

I remember that I was like this the last time it happened with the first pwBPD I ran into. It seems that it affected me for a long time afterward because I couldn't view the world in the same way. It took me a good... .7 or 8 months to feel myself again... .only to about 6 months later fall into the same trap all over again because my guard was back down.

It seems like these b****rds know exactly when I'm happy and in a good place and they attack, in all seriousness. I had just graduated college and I was content with the single life this May and here comes this last one to knock me off my happy horse.

I'm so tired of them stealing my sunshine and making me become closed off to people and the world, but my heart is in so much anguish when I find out that I've been tricked/left all over again that it makes it hard not to retreat to protect myself and try to heal.

But, it seems, it makes me hyperaware to the point that I have no tolerance for it... .until my guard goes back down after some time and I find myself with another pwBPD. 

[misssouthernbelle]

I was just wondering if anyone else is struggling with this sense of hyperawareness to dysfunction or those with perceived personality disorders/issues?

I remember that I was like this the last time it happened with the first pwBPD I ran into. It seems that it affected me for a long time afterward because I couldn't view the world in the same way. It took me a good... .7 or 8 months to feel myself again... .only to about 6 months later fall into the same trap all over again because my guard was back down.

It seems like these b****rds know exactly when I'm happy and in a good place and they attack, in all seriousness. I had just graduated college and I was content with the single life this May and here comes this last one to knock me off my happy horse.

I'm so tired of them stealing my sunshine and making me become closed off to people and the world, but my heart is in so much anguish when I find out that I've been tricked/left all over again that it makes it hard not to retreat to protect myself and try to heal.

But, it seems, it makes me hyperaware to the point that I have no tolerance for it... .until my guard goes back down after some time and I find myself with another pwBPD. 

[saintgrey]

  i feel like that at the moment, like i have developed this new sense to identify pwPD but the best we can do is know why are we attracted to this people.

My ex only had 2 LTR with me included, that means only 2 people so far have been able to put up with her so that means i have issues of my own if everyone else runs for the hill but i stayed.

[ScorpioLaw]

 With respect, you are letting people do it to you. No one can "steal" your sunshine, or close you off from the world unless you let it happen. They didn't steal anything. You gave it to them. There is a key difference in that.

Everyone goes through heartache wether it's in a normal relationship or not. Everyone becomes betrayed by some point in their life. Everyone deals with a the BS and the hurt. I don't think it's fair to put it on a disorder. Especially if it's happened more than once.

At some point you have to ask yourself why have you found yourself put in that position.

It takes two to make a relationship. So blaming someone else for your insecurities or trust issues will not help you.

I find everyone realizes the signs were always there sooner or later. We just ignored them and went with it anyway because we WANTED to believe it was true.

[Mutt]

Hi missouthernbelle,

I was just wondering if anyone else is struggling with this sense of hyperawareness to dysfunction or those with perceived personality disorders/issues?

I'm sorry to hear that . I was also struggling with feeling an intense and exaggerated sensation with regards to dysfunctional behaviors. It felt like I was always on guard and I was feeling hyper-vigilance or hyper-arousal which is common with PTSD symptoms.

You may find information that you can relate with in our PTSD article.

4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal):

     You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. This is known as hyperarousal. It can cause you to:

         * Suddenly become angry or irritable

         * Have a hard time sleeping.

         * Have trouble concentrating.

         * Fear for your safety and always feel on guard.

         * Be very startled when something surprises you.

PERSPECTIVES: What is PTSD and how do you define "trigger"?

[misssouthernbelle]

Hi missouthernbelle,

I was just wondering if anyone else is struggling with this sense of hyperawareness to dysfunction or those with perceived personality disorders/issues?

I'm sorry to hear that . I was also struggling with feeling an intense and exaggerated sensation with regards to dysfunctional behaviors. It felt like I was always on guard and I was feeling hyper-vigilance or hyper-arousal which is common with PTSD symptoms.

You may find information that you can relate with in our PTSD article.

4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal):

     You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. This is known as hyperarousal. It can cause you to:

         * Suddenly become angry or irritable

         * Have a hard time sleeping.

         * Have trouble concentrating.

         * Fear for your safety and always feel on guard.

         * Be very startled when something surprises you.

PERSPECTIVES: What is PTSD and how do you define "trigger"?

I think I do have PTSD, or some form. Honestly, right now though, I think I have depression.

[Mutt]

Hi missouthernbelle,

I was just wondering if anyone else is struggling with this sense of hyperawareness to dysfunction or those with perceived personality disorders/issues?

I'm sorry to hear that . I was also struggling with feeling an intense and exaggerated sensation with regards to dysfunctional behaviors. It felt like I was always on guard and I was feeling hyper-vigilance or hyper-arousal which is common with PTSD symptoms.

You may find information that you can relate with in our PTSD article.

4. Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal):

     You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. This is known as hyperarousal. It can cause you to:

         * Suddenly become angry or irritable

         * Have a hard time sleeping.

         * Have trouble concentrating.

         * Fear for your safety and always feel on guard.

         * Be very startled when something surprises you.

PERSPECTIVES: What is PTSD and how do you define "trigger"?

I think I do have PTSD, or some form. Honestly, right now though, I think I have depression.

Hi misssouthernbell,

I'm sorry to hear that  I can relate with how difficult depression can be to cope with. There are treatments for depression. Have you talked to your MD?

Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts