New flight plan...

[formflier]

So... .almost a certainty that I will never work for a board again.   Many power struggles spill over to the executive level... .

Very likely I will never understand the "real" issue being argued about at my most recent job... .but it's over.

The good news is that my employment was governed by a contract... .and that contract had a very healthy "golden parachute" clause.  The reason I insisted on this clause was that I was being offered employment after a split vote of the board.  Basically... if one vote shifted... .employment over.  

It was obvious after I got there that there was a "faction" that wanted the number 2 guy in the organization to have had the job.  If he ends up being the guy that gets the next contract... .then I'll know for sure.  

So... .at the moment I'm "lawyered up" trying to settle the contract.  The majority of the payout is not in dispute... .but they are saying they will not pay anything... until all is settled.  Hoping to get a counteroffer to them in couple days... .I don't want to file a lawsuit... .but there is enough at stake that I will.  

My wife has totally been in my corner through this... .  She sees it for what it is... .

So... .where will formflier file his next flight plan... .if executive work for a board is off the table?  

Well... .another place where my wife and I were able to come together... .was that paying for college (remember... we have 8 kids) is our top financial priority that is not figured out.

So... .I did some research and we have found a state that we previously lived in... .waives tuition for veterans with my disability status.  This will also put her in closer proximity to her FOO... .some of her past.

So... .we are in agreement with where we need to be... .but are still filling in details on how/when/ etc etc.  My guess is that in a couple of months we will be relocating.

I've found some private sector jobs in the area that I am interested in and have applied to.  No boards involved...

Luckily... .the finances of the settlement (whenever I get it) are such that we can move without a job in hand... .and figure that part out when we get there.

Wife has been on best behavior until yesterday (subject of my other post).  See seemed better today.

So... .there is my big update... .my plate is pretty full with details to sort out... .no idea how much time I will be able to spend on here... .we'll see.

Thoughts?

FF

[KateCat]

Hey, if you ask me, this is a better and safer flight plan.

I had visions of your wife really losing it if you spent much of your time interacting with other board members, social events involving wives, email accounts she could not examine, personal business expense accounts that were not under her control . . . and much, much more.  

I think you are now "called on" a path to guide and launch your eight children, and that you will find much satisfaction doing this.

[jcarter4856]

No answer, but reading this I think "this is why I run my own company".

Ok, perhaps that is an answer

[formflier]

No answer, but reading this I think "this is why I run my own company".

Ok, perhaps that is an answer

Yep... .we have a fairly significant "side business" in real estate.  However... .BPDish issues have diminished that... .and make it complicated.

I bear a lot of "fault" for this for the years when I didn't know better.

So... slowly but surely... .we are (I am) in the mode of divesting from those holdings.  Not a fire sale... but... .get rid of that hassle... .and focus on family and other things.

Being in business with a pwBPD... .for me... .has not been a good fit... .(how is that to put it politely?)

However... .if I could get into consulting... .or something that was truly just me... .I would be up for it.

I'm sure someone is wondering "how bad" could it be to be in a real estate business with a pwBPD.

(quick formflier fade to the past movie moment... .)

My wife is/was convinced that I was having an affair with a tenant of ours.  She "set me up" on evening by saying she wanted to go out with a girlfriend for dinner to catch up.  Worked for me because I had to finish a plumbing issue in one of our houses.  Toilet not working well... .tends to upset tenants... . 

So... .it was all a ruse...   I am laying in the floor of the bathroom... .with my hand down a 4 inch drain line... .trying to clear an obstruction... when my wife "pops in" and catches me... .

Then... she says I wasn't happy to see her... .  Really... I wasn't happy that my hand was in ... .(you guys can fill this in)

Plus the tenant is upset that some woman (she had never met my wife)... just barged in the house... .

The tenant's "upsetness" was proof of a cover up... .

Remember... this is pre me knowing about BPD... .so I laid out in great and convincing detail that my wife was nuts... .was creating her own drama... set me up... .etc etc etc... .

A couple nights in a row after this were nuclear at our house as both of us kept picking the scab... .

Ah... .the good ol days... .


(movie moment over... .move along... .  )

FF

[formflier]

Hey, if you ask me, this is a better and safer flight plan.

I agree... .

So... .I sat by myself for a day or two as I was formulating a "risk management" strategy for how life could be pulled off... .even if things went really bad.

As long as I and my children are residents of this state... .we are good.  Pretty simple.

This will be further away from my FOO... .and much closer to hers.  Potentially much closer as in 10 minutes away... .depends on where we end up settling.

Most likely it will depend on the day whether or not being close to them is good or bad... .

FF

[jcarter4856]

Being in business with a pwBPD... .for me... .has not been a good fit... .(how is that to put it politely?)

Heh. Yeah it can be challenging, but the alternative I think would be worse for the reasons you articulated above.

However... .if I could get into consulting... .or something that was truly just me... .I would be up for it.

This is roughly what I do, although we now have employees and products with recurring revenue also. One problem with consulting is that income tends to follow a "feast or famine" pattern, and it turns out pwBPD do not deal well with an unpredictable and ever-changing income.

My wife is/was convinced that I was having an affair with a tenant of ours... .

I need to be vigilant to never get into a situation where I have significant interaction with a woman as part of my work (more accurately, an attractive woman). However, in my line of work women are quite rare so this is not usually a problem.

[formflier]

I need to be vigilant to never get into a situation where I have significant interaction with a woman as part of my work (more accurately, an attractive woman). However, in my line of work women are quite rare so this is not usually a problem.

Yeah... .I thought that the "attractive" thing would be a safe thing.  Nope... .some of the worst accusations have come about interactions with women that were... .ummmm... .(not my type)  How was that for diplomacy... .?

I am lucky that I have a base income level from retirement pay... .that keeps family fed and housed... .

Plus... .medical benefits are not tied to job or income... .

That takes load off my mind... .

FF

[KateCat]

women that were... .ummmm... .(not my type)

formflier,

Perhaps you can teach this phrase to Donald Trump.

[jcarter4856]

Nope... .some of the worst accusations have come about interactions with women that were... .ummmm... .(not my type)  How was that for diplomacy... .?

Oh, same experience here. By "attractive" I mean "considered by wife to be attractive to me".

Her attractiveness-to-me assessment is always inaccurate, I think mostly due to poor self-image.

She equates any characteristic she possesses as negative, and therefore selects women with the opposite characteristics as seeming to be attractive.

Meanwhile, I'm of course highly attracted to wife and all her... .characteristics, so the inevitably selects the wrong targets.

[formflier]

[

Perhaps you can teach this phrase to Donald Trump.

   

Now... .that is funny... .

And ladies here want Fiorina to come up with a good line about Trumps ridiculous hair... .and barb him with it.

I mean... .look at that hair... .! 

I'm not sure what I think about national politics at the moment... .but it sure is entertaining... .

FF

[KateCat]

So sorry KateCat- I meant to post myself and accidentally modified your post. Didn't realize I had pushed "modify" and not "reply "Please repost yours. It was my error.