Advice on sending exgf an email

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

It has been 5 days since her last contact, yesterday she opened her facebook page status single posting pictures of her happy with multiple guys responding with forward advances. There area also numerous responses from her friends congratulating her of being strong and escaping such a horrible experience. Now that really upsets me as she has invented this domestic violence story all which she created to gain everyone support at my credibility.

Now WHAT'S confusing is that last week always on MONDAY or TUESDAY  (ALONE) she called me told me she loved me and missed our life. But it appears now she is moving on but i am confused. I asked her via email for closure but her response was vague and focused on me getting work and that she cant help me anymore, it almost looked like she was sending a message for others it didn't look like her words.

I understand that i caused this by enabling her and that I've become codependent but how is it that all i did was try to help support her and she didn't do a thing and fought me on any personal development and now she is getting on her feet happy with the support of all.

I dont want to loose her, she has blocked me so i cant speak to her. If she really is moving forward i need some closure so i can move forward.  I was thinking of sending her an email outlining how i feel and my emotions.

Is that a good or bad idea, can anyone explain what she may be thinking.

[jq46810]

It has been 5 days since her last contact, yesterday she opened her facebook page status single posting pictures of her happy with multiple guys responding with forward advances. There area also numerous responses from her friends congratulating her of being strong and escaping such a horrible experience. Now that really upsets me as she has invented this domestic violence story all which she created to gain everyone support at my credibility.

Now WHAT'S confusing is that last week always on MONDAY or TUESDAY  (ALONE) she called me told me she loved me and missed our life. But it appears now she is moving on but i am confused. I asked her via email for closure but her response was vague and focused on me getting work and that she cant help me anymore, it almost looked like she was sending a message for others it didn't look like her words.

I understand that i caused this by enabling her and that I've become codependent but how is it that all i did was try to help support her and she didn't do a thing and fought me on any personal development and now she is getting on her feet happy with the support of all.

I dont want to loose her, she has blocked me so i cant speak to her. If she really is moving forward i need some closure so i can move forward.  I was thinking of sending her an email outlining how i feel and my emotions.

Is that a good or bad idea, can anyone explain what she may be thinking.

[lovenature]

You will never get the closure you want from a pwBPD; it is all about them all of the time. They have the emotional maturity of a 3 year old; not capable of empathy, and understanding how their words/actions effect you.

She likely will triangulate you with other guy(s) because she can't be alone because of how she truly feels about herself; the closer you get, the more she fears you will see inside her and abandon her. If she feels alone, she will try and pull you back; the constant push/pull and other BPD traits will only continue to hurt you, and just get worse. A pwBPD bases their reality on their current emotion of the moment.

I would advise writing your thoughts down in an email if you want, but don't send it; she will not react to it the way you would, probably twist it to make her the victim, and you will be more frustrated and hurt.

The only way a pwBPD can have a mature, healthy, reciprocal relationship is with years of therapy; sadly their disorder usually prevents them from accepting responsibility and getting the help they need.

Co-dependency is something present before you meet her, otherwise you would not have stayed and tried to make it work. The best thing for us is to look at ourselves; why did we accept what we did and stay as long as we did?

[StandingTall]

same story here except we have no contact and we were engaged for 11 months already triangulated me with another guy ive known for 20 years. She says nothing at all but blames it all on me getting mad because she was changing right in front of me... .The pictures are always fake she once blew up on christmas with my family and caused a huge scene onlly to post a picture of us saying merry Christmas i love you... .They have no real acceptance or need other then self destruction