Hi Confused#2
I am sorry your mother placed you in harms way. I don't feel like you are being too sensitive at all here. No matter how you look at it, I would definitely say it was wrong of her to send you kids out to go check and see who was driving that mysterious car. That's a horrible and frightening experience for a child.
Also the fact that she made you open up the cans she herself was scared to open is something I find concerning. It's almost like she was unable to deal with the negative emotions so instead made you children deal with them instead so she wouldn't have to. And not only made you deal with the negative emotions, but also put you at risk of dealing with the potentially negative consequences.
Recurring dreams is actually something several of us have had (including the board parrot ). Another member (
pookielooks) just posted about it here:
Anyone else have childhood recurring nightmares related to their parent's BPD?The way I now look at dreams like this is that they conveyed the message that we might not have been able to accept in our waking lives because who really wants to accept that our own parent is the source of danger. As a child you depend so much on your parent so we often try as hard as we can to maintain a positive view of them. Also as a child it can be very hard to make sense of a BPD parents behavior as we are still developing our own mind and identity. However on a subconscious level, you as a child were probably still very well aware of the fact that there was something wrong with they way your mother treated you. Although she never threatened to kill you, she did put you kids at huge risk by sending you guys outside while that car was there.
