saw my BPDex for the first time since getting "closure"

[problemsolver]

This isn't necessarily a big post filled with drama but as title... I attended an event and she was there... It was interesting , she originally saw me and did a double take(I suppose she was surprised). . She was floating around me a little bit she walked around spoke to a few guys... The guy took a little glance over at me ... I just assume she said " blah blah x boyfriend" she was friendly with him a hug and what not he's an alright guy. She through a few glances my way but nothing major no direct eye contact...

I felt slightly nostalgic seeing her... around this time last year she met my family etc etc but with that being said seeing her talking to guys and what not didn't make me feel jealous. 2 months ago if someone told me she had a boyfriend it would of felt like a mike Tyson punch to my heart... But yesterday it didn't bring those same emotions out of me. Just a slight curiosity whether real or perceived I kind of mentally made my self believe that she already had / has a replacement.

almost right after the completion of the event she took to her favorite sm (twitter) "annoyed" "sometimes I wish I had no feelings"... Can't say these were about me but one could only assume? In any case I believe it was a good test for me in my healing. I hope my mind isn't playing tricks on me... Recently I have been having some dreams about her but I assume that's normal... In any case I didn't feel emotional at all... I felt okay. Enjoyed the event. Maybe the big test is seeing her kiss someone? Lol

I hope I'm nearing indifference:)

Thanks for letting me put my thoughts out cheers.

[Mutt]

2 months ago if someone told me she had a boyfriend it would of felt like a mike Tyson punch to my heart...

Hi problemsolver,

It helps to share the small stuff and the big stuff with people that understand.

Did you feel anxiety leading up to the event? Did you go so that you could desensitize your triggers around your ex or are you curious if she's got a new guy?

[toddinrochester]

Loved this post!

[problemsolver]

2 months ago if someone told me she had a boyfriend it would of felt like a mike Tyson punch to my heart...

Hi problemsolver,

It helps to share the small stuff and the big stuff with people that understand.

Did you feel anxiety leading up to the event? Did you go so that you could desensitize your triggers around your ex or are you curious if she's got a new guy?

Hey ,

I went strictly to see my friends , I didn't really anticipate seeing her... or at least seeing her in that close proximity. I kind of came to a realization that even if she did have someone... there was nothing I could do to "stop" it. She's free to do what she likes I suppose as we all are.

[Mutt]

2 months ago if someone told me she had a boyfriend it would of felt like a mike Tyson punch to my heart...

Hi problemsolver,

It helps to share the small stuff and the big stuff with people that understand.

Did you feel anxiety leading up to the event? Did you go so that you could desensitize your triggers around your ex or are you curious if she's got a new guy?

Hey ,

I went strictly to see my friends , I didn't really anticipate seeing her... or at least seeing her in that close proximity. I kind of came to a realization that even if she did have someone... there was nothing I could do to "stop" it. She's free to do what she likes I suppose as we all are.

Nice going.