First post - ec is threatening RO

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My ex and I were together (off and on, of course) for a year.

The last time I spoke with her she said she would be getting a restraining order against me (because I have no boundaries and she feels violated by me all the time). The boundary I broke that caused that? I spent time with a mutual friend and then lied to her about it (the lying part was wrong of me, I fully admit that).

She wanted me to have nothing to do with anyone she introduced me to; I found that not a mature response, and think if people don't want to interact with me they won't - on their terms, not because she said so.

And that has happened - some of them don't want to maintain contact, some do. I respect those wishes.

I have no idea what basis she would get a restraining order - she might lie. Her last relationship ended with telling her ex she was getting a restraining order (which would probably have worked, as that ended quite dramatically with stolen things and destroyed property. I have not stolen anything or destroyed anything). But that was about a month ago, and we have been NC since. I haven't heard anything further from/about her.

I wish I could say it's been great, less stress, not having to worry about getting an angry text or phone call that I had done something wrong, but it's been sad. Today is really hard. Why do I care still? How can I start moving forward?

[movingon123]

My ex and I were together (off and on, of course) for a year.

The last time I spoke with her she said she would be getting a restraining order against me (because I have no boundaries and she feels violated by me all the time). The boundary I broke that caused that? I spent time with a mutual friend and then lied to her about it (the lying part was wrong of me, I fully admit that).

She wanted me to have nothing to do with anyone she introduced me to; I found that not a mature response, and think if people don't want to interact with me they won't - on their terms, not because she said so.

And that has happened - some of them don't want to maintain contact, some do. I respect those wishes.

I have no idea what basis she would get a restraining order - she might lie. Her last relationship ended with telling her ex she was getting a restraining order (which would probably have worked, as that ended quite dramatically with stolen things and destroyed property. I have not stolen anything or destroyed anything). But that was about a month ago, and we have been NC since. I haven't heard anything further from/about her.

I wish I could say it's been great, less stress, not having to worry about getting an angry text or phone call that I had done something wrong, but it's been sad. Today is really hard. Why do I care still? How can I start moving forward?

[JaneStorm]

If I had cultivated mutual friends or friended her friends that she had prior to the relationship, I would see no reason to stay in contact with them. If they were in my life beforehand, I would. That's just how I am; avoid any blurred lines that the pwBPD can latch on to.

[Mutt]

Hi movingon123,

I'm sorry to hear that. Did she break-up with you? How did that happen?