It's Christmas. To give or not to give.

[Seeks]

In my last thread I asked the question if I should still give the Christmas presents I have already purchased for my GF and her son. Being as, she has broken up with me and severed contact.

I have seen this same question asked here on these boards.

I have been thinking about it and I am going to answer my own question.

It is Christmas. It's the time of year that you give from your heart without the expectation of getting anything back in return.

My presents will not make her want to get back together with me. They won't even make her want to call and talk with me. But that's not the point, or the reason for the Season.

If we can't invite those that don't like us into our hearts, what does that say about us? Are we so hardened and selfish that we can't extend a bit of love to those that need it the most.

I am sitting here alone listening to Christmas music watching the snow fall outside.

And I am so thankful for the blessings and the people that have touched my life.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Lifewriter16]

Merry Christmas to you too.

Lifewriter x

[Anez]

Merry Christmas!

[livednlearned]

Hi Seeks,

I think these kinds of questions are situational. Intention matters, and not everyone has the same intention when they give gifts. Not every relationship has the same dynamic.

I would probably do the same thing you are doing, given the circumstances.

[Seeks]

Good morning Lived

Yes, relationship dynamics do vary just as do the people that suffer with BPD. We all must look at our own particular situations and decide for ourselves what is best.

I do though think it's important this time of year to step above our emotional response and show some extra Grace and understanding.

In my case, my GF has had a traumatic Christmas throughout most of her childhood. As a result, this time of year has always been difficult for her. Couple that with her financial difficulties and having a teenage son and her coping skills have gone out the window.

So this year their gifts will arrive anonymously with the hope that they will have a warmer more memorable Christmas.