Sometimes you have these moments when a
goes on. Granted, this might be more of a Christmaslight than a proper one but still.
For some reason I had this one liner in my mind my ex used to say often. He used a lot of one liners. Most -if not all- not his (so much for originality... ) but I had a particular one hovering at the back of my mind. So I decided to google it, see where it originated. Turns out it's from a song. And I guess it's not written about a guy with BPD but it might as well be... If I still had any doubts how he feels on the inside (well not doubts but tonight I was once again thinking where the h*ll this guy disappeared to I used to talk with about philosophy and literature and haikus and doing yoga together and blahblahblah) I now know for sure:
"Some Nights"
Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights I call it a draw
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights I wish they'd just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know anymore... .
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype
Save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,
But here they come again to jack my style
That's alright (that's alright)
I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? Mmm... .Mmm... .
Well, some nights I wish that this all would end
'Cause I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights I always win, I always win... .
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know... .(oh, come on)
So this is it. I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
(Come on)
No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like a swan, so come on.
Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on!
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home;
Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the ___ wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?
My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she called "love"
When I look into my nephew's eyes... .
Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from... .
Some terrible nights... .ah... .
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
The other night you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... .Oh... .
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... .Oh... .
