Need advice

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hello everyone

I started Alanon 3 years ago when my exgf was in treatment for drug abuse during her pregnancy. That went well for about a year then my Alanon sponsor thought that even though I quit drinking on my own years ago I still needed AA.

I got a sponsor in AA, I will call him J, J was a councelor and knows a lot about that and AA. Do to health reasons he swithed me to a second sponsor and that was ok for a while but he was very difficult for me to understand so I asked my current sponsor to help me. He explains things very clear and we fit well together.

The question is when I told him my exgf is BPD he said his ex wife was too yet my sponser hasn't a clue what I've been through. How do I help him understand my past relationship in a constructive way? His attitude is everyone is mentally ill and she's no different than everyone else.

I spoke to him today and he wasn't helpful with advice about my exgf.

Is there anything I can do to help him understand her behaviours? I told him about this site and he's not interested.

Thank you.

[JerryRG]

Hello everyone

I started Alanon 3 years ago when my exgf was in treatment for drug abuse during her pregnancy. That went well for about a year then my Alanon sponsor thought that even though I quit drinking on my own years ago I still needed AA.

I got a sponsor in AA, I will call him J, J was a councelor and knows a lot about that and AA. Do to health reasons he swithed me to a second sponsor and that was ok for a while but he was very difficult for me to understand so I asked my current sponsor to help me. He explains things very clear and we fit well together.

The question is when I told him my exgf is BPD he said his ex wife was too yet my sponser hasn't a clue what I've been through. How do I help him understand my past relationship in a constructive way? His attitude is everyone is mentally ill and she's no different than everyone else.

I spoke to him today and he wasn't helpful with advice about my exgf.

Is there anything I can do to help him understand her behaviours? I told him about this site and he's not interested.

Thank you.

[Sunfl0wer]

I would have a very difficult time being mentored or counseled by someone who either does not have more knowledge on the issue than me or cannot work with me and understand the info I am providing in order to help me.  This would be a great issue of trust for me and I would want to seek out a different sponsor.

Do you think you can work with this person towards the goals of you pr AA assuming RA for their level of insight to your prior relationship experience?

What do you see as your options?

[JerryRG]

Thanks Sunflower

My original sponsor knows the entire history of the relationship but my new one is vague to personality disorders. I will talk to both and figure something out. It gets frustrating trying to explain things to someone who hasn't a clue.