Feeling that my marriage is over but not sure how to end it

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Many thanks for the lovely website all of the really useful information.

After 20 years of marriage and a year of therapy, I have finally come to appreciate that my spouse has BPD traits, though of the high functioning variety. I am hoping to return to therapy with her in order to have a supportive and accountable (hopefully) environment in which to end our relationship and find our way toward being co-parents of our little one. The situation is hugely complex for all kinds of practical reasons that I can't go into, and I know that there is no good way to call it quits with any one, perhaps especially in the case of someone who has BPD tendencies. My question simply is, how does this strike people as a way to go about dealing with the issue of ending a marriage to a spouse who has these sorts of struggles? 

[Berean]

Many thanks for the lovely website all of the really useful information.

After 20 years of marriage and a year of therapy, I have finally come to appreciate that my spouse has BPD traits, though of the high functioning variety. I am hoping to return to therapy with her in order to have a supportive and accountable (hopefully) environment in which to end our relationship and find our way toward being co-parents of our little one. The situation is hugely complex for all kinds of practical reasons that I can't go into, and I know that there is no good way to call it quits with any one, perhaps especially in the case of someone who has BPD tendencies. My question simply is, how does this strike people as a way to go about dealing with the issue of ending a marriage to a spouse who has these sorts of struggles? 

[Mutt]

Hi Berean,



I'm glad that the information has helped you and that you decided to join. Many of our members here can relate and offer guidance and support. A pwBPD have unstable emotions and have a core wound of abandonment, abandonment fears.

We have different boards and I would advise that you check the Family law, divorce and custody board, it should give you a general idea of what to expect. All of our pwBPD are different people with different severities of the disorder and I don't to imply that my situation is the same yours but maybe it will help,I was split black when I told my exBPDw that I wanted a divorce.  

Maybe you had a chance to see our book review on Bill Eddy's book or not. I'll leave you with that. I hope that helps.

Splitting; Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline - William Eddy, Esq

Regards,

----Mutt