Old wounds reopened

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I had a good court order, I should of left good enough alone. It is impossible to be a good honest person and go up against a BPD/NPD in family court. They are not human, they have no morals or values. This leads my to my old question, what is standing behind your partner? I found it very hard to stand behind Xw when she was creating conflict with my family. My sister would take the high road when Xw attacked but we are human, one day my sister had enough and told Xw off and told her to grow up. Xw came after me, what are you going to do about it she said, are you going to stand up for me? How do you defend wrong? Loved one or not. Fast forward to now, she is putting her BF in this situation. I can't wrap my brains around this. Xw lied so bad in family court on Friday, she had created unnecessary conflict between her BF and I. He follows me, he gives me these childish silly waves when he sees me, he heard Xw lie, he knows she lied, he sees she if fighting to keep my son out of my life as much as possible. What kind of a person stands behind wrong. Maybe my belief system is all wrong? Maybe I should of taken xw's side and told my family to take a hike. I had so many issues resolved now after court all my pain and self doubt is alive again.

[bus boy]

I had a good court order, I should of left good enough alone. It is impossible to be a good honest person and go up against a BPD/NPD in family court. They are not human, they have no morals or values. This leads my to my old question, what is standing behind your partner? I found it very hard to stand behind Xw when she was creating conflict with my family. My sister would take the high road when Xw attacked but we are human, one day my sister had enough and told Xw off and told her to grow up. Xw came after me, what are you going to do about it she said, are you going to stand up for me? How do you defend wrong? Loved one or not. Fast forward to now, she is putting her BF in this situation. I can't wrap my brains around this. Xw lied so bad in family court on Friday, she had created unnecessary conflict between her BF and I. He follows me, he gives me these childish silly waves when he sees me, he heard Xw lie, he knows she lied, he sees she if fighting to keep my son out of my life as much as possible. What kind of a person stands behind wrong. Maybe my belief system is all wrong? Maybe I should of taken xw's side and told my family to take a hike. I had so many issues resolved now after court all my pain and self doubt is alive again.

[JerryRG]

I'm really sorry to hear this bus boy

I am in the process of getting full custody of our son, I'm optimistic but as you know pwBPD are not interested in honesty, if it's a fact then that would normally be enough. My son's mother may not know fact from fiction?

The only advice I have is don't allow your ex to see you are upset, I believe NPD thrive on our suffering and emotional responses.

I will tell people how angry I get when I see my son's mother behave so strangely and uncaring about our son. They tell me I knew she was sick when I met her so I can't blame her still being sick. Just the facts.

Keep working on you and maybe your ex will meltdown in the future? I wish you the best bus boy, I will be praying for you and your son

[Mutt]

Hi bus boy,

What kind of a person stands behind wrong. Maybe my belief system is all wrong?

I don't think that you have something wrong with your values. In your case, I think it's about how she couldn't control you like she can control her current boyfriend. I wouldn't worry about him, it sounds like he has his own lessons to learn.

Three people makes a triangle, he's probably not aware that he's rescuing your ex and your ex is casting you into the role of persecutor, the same role that her bf will be cast in at some time in the future. It propagates unnecessary drama and she's blame shifting her bad behaviors on others. Be aware of triangulation and don't assume the persecutor role that she cast you in, stay in the center of the triangle, don't take sides with your ex or her bf so that you don't play into her drama. That's just my two cents.