BPD relations

[FallBack!Monster]

How my r/s w/pwBPD evolved
Met. 2 days later, I love you and I know you're going to make "me happy". No Mention of doing for me.  
4 weeks later. Let's get married. I know I love you and we're going to grow old together.  
Me: stop saying that. You sound crazy. You don't even know me.
She: I know what I'm feeling and when I get those types of feeling I'm always right.  .
Me: whatever. Change subject!
weeks5 Wouldn't answer her phone for days. Finally text back Week 6, was in the hospital in my home town I think I have PTSD.   ... lies. Wasn't out of town. Was with ex before me.
In my mind... .doesn't explain why not answering the phone.
Out of my mouth... .nothing. But in my mind... .I know she playing sick to avoid having to answer.   Another ignored  
Next 2 weeks Same conversion, save love bombing as above, same everything. But disappeared more often (got away with it once why not keep pushing.) More obvious  
Sex and sex and sex and sex and more relations in between all the   .
Words, actions, statements never changed   same stories but added more to each.
3 month into r/s noticed she stopped. Not talk of moving in together, getting married, nothing.   Glad but curious. Suddenly, always a permanent smirk on her face. Lied and smiled.  Talked with a smirk. Until the smirk was no longer and came the angry face. The worried look. The dissappointment look. The dysregulated look.  The " I have to get all my duck in a row and then we'll continue okay", type look. Wasn't towards me I don't think. Then one day... .4 months in... .left and made excuses to not be available and never came back.
I tried getting back for 6 months. Now it's been 2 years and haven't seen her since.
Read this a few moments ago. Similar to my story. Thought I bring g it here.  Edited and added the red flags myself.

[rfriesen]

Hi NoGd,

Yes, a lot of familiar red flags there! Which ones stood out to you as most similar to your story?

What thoughts and feelings do you have now reading those red flags?

[FallBack!Monster]

Hi NoGd,

Yes, a lot of familiar red flags there! Which ones stood out to you as most similar to your story?

What thoughts and feelings do you have now reading those red flags?

No feelings. Only rap music comes to Mind... .
'why the devil keep on f_cking with me. Why he knocking on my door".  one more " that was then and this is now  and there's no way, damn it. There's no how".

[rfriesen]

Yes, music and songs often seem to say it better than we ever could! I can relate.

That said, no feelings at all? Really? If your story parallels the one you copied and edited, it seems like it might provoke a lot of feelings. No hurt or anger or regret or resentment or feelings of love, loss, missing your ex, conflicted emotions about it all? No sense of betrayal and deceit?

Those are just some of the feelings that I think the story you edited would bring up in me.

[FallBack!Monster]

Yes, music and songs often seem to say it better than we ever could! I can relate.

That said,"no feelings at all? Really? If your story parallels the one you copied and edited, it seems like it might provoke a lot of feelings. No hurt or anger or regret or resentment or feelings of love, loss, missing your ex, conflicted emotions about it all? No sense of betrayal and deceit?"

Those are just some of the feelings that I think the story you edited would bring up in me.

Good questions. Got answers... .My conflict is mainly with self. Done with all negative perceptions. She learned me. Doing my homework;... .earning her and others with similar disorders. Evening the Playingfield.  Not suggesting success, Hoping for it. Hopefully these are clear answers.
Thanks for reading.
Also
By devil I mean the devil. Not a metaphor for anyone. By then and now... .Explained above.