Getting involved with a person with BPD

[FallBack!Monster]

Im typing it for my sister.
Wants to know if people here really and truly believe that only an already broken and unhealthy soul would dare to get involve with a person with BPD?

Say your 22 y/o guy, and you meet this pretty girl. You get involved with her. Her symptoms aren't that severe. You fall in love and get marry. A few years down the line symptoms start to show. You think something else is happening. You try to fix it to no avail. You take your time jumping ship because as long as you can remember you've loved this woman and thought you'll spend your life together. No obvious problems in your upbringing. Nothing extremely abusive.
Do you believe there is something deeply rooted in his past that he's in denial about, and some therapist needs to help him rewind, or it just so happened that he married an I'll woman whose symptoms wasn't showing and now, he is broken?

Now, further along in his life he meets another woman. This woman he likes. Maybe she reminds him of his now exwife. whom he was so inlovated with but he couldn't stay.
He starts to date this woman. She turns out to be worse than the ex.  He sees the signs and jumps ship but doesn't detach emotionally for awhile longer. The relationship only lasted a few months.
Is it the relationship with the ex that broke him or do you believe it's still deeply rooted and that's why he keeps falling in love with disordered women?

Please examine and please explain. It would help people who disagree with statements of something being wrong with them, that's why they were easy target to begin with.

Thank you

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[rfriesen]

Wants to know if people here really and truly believe that only an already broken and unhealthy soul would dare to get involve with a person with BPD?

Are you asking whether anyone who becomes involved with a person with BPD must also be disordered?

The answer to that question is no. People who have BPD or exhibit traits of BPD are often high function and can be engaging and charming, and there might be no obvious signs of BPD traits when another person first becomes "involved" with them. If that involvement becomes intimate, then a pwBPD will typically struggle with the dual fears of abandonment and engulfment, so that they will tend to alternately pull their partner in close emotionally, then push their partner away. The emotional rollercoaster can be intense and test the partner's boundaries. This can be challenging even for a "healthy" individual.

That said, if a person repeatedly finds themselves in intimate relationships with that kind of intense push/pull dynamic, then it's fair to suspect that something in the make-up of their personality is drawing them into a familiar pattern.

What do you think?