Hi Confusedx80,

We broke up under the conditions that we would eventually get back together (she had a lot of growing to do on her own) and kept in touch for quite some time afterwards.
I felt the same way about my ex wife, I kept thinking about milestones, maybe she'll change if we're married and she'll settle down a bit, maybe she'll change if she turns 30. Fast forward 12 years since i've met her she is the same person I met back in 2005 emotionally. A pwBPD have arrested emotional development equivalent to a small child.
I know it's confusing but there is logic to the dramatic behavior, a pwBPD have a narcissistic injury, abandonment fears, the core wound of abandonment. I'm sorry, it sounds like they're getting emotionally intimate and it's triggering her fear of abandonment, she's testing your emotional attachment, she's trying to prevent real or imagined abandonment by jumping into another r/s.