have you been connecting with people that love you unconditionally like your family and friends? Do you have a hobby? What do you do for self care? Do you exercise?
That's a great question and yes I have been making some great strides to reconnect with family and friends that I haven't been in contact with since being in this relationship. Now mind you it's a slow process and I can tell some folks are probably reluctant as from their side they probably see it as now I need them as I'm going through this because they don't realize that it was part of an isolation tactic.
Exercise, for me this was huge as before this relationship I was a avid mountain biker, skier, trail runner and surfer but as the relationship progressed it went from "go do that because that's what I fell in love with" to "you're selfish and all about yourself" which has resulted in me being in the worst shape of my life. However, like the reconnect with friends and family I have started to get back out there and had a great weekend as a matter of fact. Another big plus of these activities are that they are connected to my friend and social groups and this is what will REALLY help rebuild me. Yesterday on the mountain I finally felt a little like the old me, it was super cathartic and very energizing!
If you jump into the web, you will cause yourself more pain
Exactly, it's a balancing act as she knows how to draw me in and I have to remember when she does it, it's not about me it's that she feels low and is just seeing if she can still draw from me.
Be cautious, especially if a pregnancy is possible
It's no longer an issue, but that was the last guy! They weren't married yet lived together with her two kids, when things got tough and he had enough she mysteriously got pregnant with her third child... .yeah.
When will the divorce be final? Can you put limits on your contact, especially where alcohol is involved?
Here's the issue there, she wants to stay in the same house until June when the kids get out of school, yeah I can't imagine that amount of time in this twisted space. I've been doing the best I can to limit contact, but we don't live in a mansion and have 5 kids between the two of us, so yeah we have to see each other a lot. Limiting contact when alcohol involved... .she drinks a least a bottle of wine a night so I'm guessing no... .
On the upside her sister get's here this week so yeah... .that's going to be a gong show... .funny thing is she's raged at me around her family, been super passive aggressive etc. etc. but because they're all 15 plus years older than her and raised her when her mom abandoned them, they still support her and always support the victim narrative?
NS
