How do you cope with the deep gut wrenching feelings of having a sibling actually hate you? Especially around the holidays?
It helps me to think of it in different terms. It's not that the person hates me, it's that they are not capable of love. They are severely damaged and sick. They need to help themselves and stop abusing people. If my momster ever decided to seriously go into therapy and work on making amends for the wreckage and destruction she has caused over the decades, I would give her audience. The sad truth is though, many cluster Bs will die before admitting their part in pain and trauma.
The pain is real, but it gets better over time with NC I find. Life becomes filled more with loving people and I no longer have an attachment (stockholm syndrome) to the people that seek to hurt me.
"love yourself" is too cliche and not easy to do. but what I find works best is "putting myself in proximity to loving, kind people."
the holiday times pass. they can be crummy. I just wait it out like Im in a fallout bunker,
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