A revelation on the path to healing

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Most of you know my story from all the posts I have had on here recently. But Thursday I told her I was going no contact with her and that was it. We bought the dog together which is now mine and I told her that I don't even want to hear from her if she wants to see the dog (FYI for the first two months I asked every weekend if she wanted to see the dog and she said no). So I blocked her number and blocked her email. She called me on my work phone which I put on do not disturb and then she emailed my work email telling me to "answer the phone I have a question."

To be honest, I feel liberated by blocking her. When I didn't have her blocked it was the first step to my relapse of NC. Because I'd ruminate when I didn't see her message me. Now I have control back and have set a boundary. I don't wonder if she has messaged me. And if I unblocked her number and email there is no way to check if she had messaged me during the time of being blocked. And she is so self-conscious she won't harass me with phone calls through my work phone or email because she knows I can make it a work thing, and tell them she is harassing me.

 So maybe it will help others who are in my situation. Where we were trying to get them to see reason and work on the relationship after they dropped all emotions for us. Also, after my last BPD relationship ended 3 years ago I had worked on myself and developed the reality mindset that I make myself happy, and no one or thing can effect me if I don't allow it too. I know I will get back to that mindset because it was the happiest I ever was. I had no worries, concerns, or fears over external stuff. And then I let all my boundaries down and I started to live solely for her wants and needs because she tapped into my rescuer personality.

Will I have bad days? Absolutely. But maybe this can help others who are in my shoes. Thanks!

[roberto516]

Most of you know my story from all the posts I have had on here recently. But Thursday I told her I was going no contact with her and that was it. We bought the dog together which is now mine and I told her that I don't even want to hear from her if she wants to see the dog (FYI for the first two months I asked every weekend if she wanted to see the dog and she said no). So I blocked her number and blocked her email. She called me on my work phone which I put on do not disturb and then she emailed my work email telling me to "answer the phone I have a question."

To be honest, I feel liberated by blocking her. When I didn't have her blocked it was the first step to my relapse of NC. Because I'd ruminate when I didn't see her message me. Now I have control back and have set a boundary. I don't wonder if she has messaged me. And if I unblocked her number and email there is no way to check if she had messaged me during the time of being blocked. And she is so self-conscious she won't harass me with phone calls through my work phone or email because she knows I can make it a work thing, and tell them she is harassing me.

 So maybe it will help others who are in my situation. Where we were trying to get them to see reason and work on the relationship after they dropped all emotions for us. Also, after my last BPD relationship ended 3 years ago I had worked on myself and developed the reality mindset that I make myself happy, and no one or thing can effect me if I don't allow it too. I know I will get back to that mindset because it was the happiest I ever was. I had no worries, concerns, or fears over external stuff. And then I let all my boundaries down and I started to live solely for her wants and needs because she tapped into my rescuer personality.

Will I have bad days? Absolutely. But maybe this can help others who are in my shoes. Thanks!