Intro post

[Krystal44]

Hello. I have had a very crazy relationship with my kids father for the past 3 years. We both have done and said some ugly things and a lot of this has been with our son present. I believe I have some BPD traits as well as my kids father. Somehow with in this whole mess, I still love him and want things to work and get better.  Obviously I need to worry about healing myself and improving myself for the moment. I'd like advice for that and also advice for improving a toxic relationship with someone who is narcissistic and or BPD. Even if we can't be together, we still have a son together.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Krystal44, 

I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm sorry to hear that, I can relate with how disheartening and distressing that feels when there is a lot of conflict with our partner and it spills over and the kids see it. I'm glad that you decided to join us there is hope. I see that you're motivated and you want change, you have a lot of good ideas, I think that one of the first steps with change is to not expect our partner to change but change ourselves, when we change then the dynamics start shift and change to a healthier direction, I'll give you a short video and let me know what you think, it's a video that's also personal for me because it worked for me, I used to have terrible fights with my ex for a long time

A 3 Minute Lesson on Ending Conflict

[WifeOfProbableBP]

Hi. Sorry you have been dealing with such a stressful situation. I'm glad you are interested in self-healing. I recently read a pretty good book called, "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist - How to End the Drama and Get On with Life," by Margalis Fjelstad. The Narcissist part didn't apply to my situation, but it sound like it might for yours.